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Birthdays/Holidays... advice please

Cinderella was probably a brat's picture

I just posted this in the parenting issues forum, but then realized it doesn't get as much "foot traffic", so I thought I'd try a blog post instead...

So BM lives just a few minutes away from us, but in an apartment with sketchy neighbors and no kids around. Her whole family lives out of state and she is single (for now, but that literally changes weekly), so pretty much all of her friends here are single too. Almost all of the kids' friends live around us and are the children of my friends and neighbors. Skids will be turning 3 and 6 the week before Christmas, and I'm wondering how to go about the whole birthday party thing.

I really have no interest in collaborating a joint party with her just so she can feel like she's a part of it (it will have to include both my family and my in laws too... so it's just too weird for everyone). I know if I let her take the reigns on it then they will have no friends at their parties. My DH is kind of against the idea of over-spoiling them with 2 parties each followed by two Christmas'. I agree that it would be a bit of an overkill to do that, but I don't want them to not have their friends celebrate their birthdays with them either. I don't wanna just take over or anything, but I'm not really sure what else to do.

Suggestions anyone?

Comments

VAStepMom's picture

That's tough. If you don't have a party, you risk them have NO party.

I say you plan a family birthday with a couple little friends and enjoy it. They will appreciate you and so will your DH.

Good Luck.

caregiver1127's picture

Have a party without BM - why should the kids be punished and do you really think that BM is going to throw them one - have one invite DH's and your family and be done with it. There really should be no thinking about this - the kid's need a party you two are the sure thing so it will have to fall on you - does not mean you need to throw a huge party but throw a family party. Don't worry about BM let her do her own thing - there was a divorce and now there are 2 families it is just a fact of life.

Cinderella was probably a brat's picture

I may have forgotten to mention my anniversary is new years day and my bday is mid January... Beee

Persephone's picture

Do your party and let BM handle it her way. Did she ever say she was planning a party? If DH doesn't want to spoil the kids, then suggest doing joint presents with BM. It's not the celebration that spoils them-it is the gluttonous amount of gifts, IMHO.

We only do joint parties for the "biggies" like graduation, confirmation, etc..