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Is it my turn yet?

Chinkylana's picture

Soooo... i am a 26 year old childless step mom of a 7 year old boy. I am also a lesbian which makes is a bit differant (maybe) I love my wife with all my heart. My step son is always around and i mean ALWAYS. Me and my wife never have any time to ourselves. We barely have sex anymore. I work and my wife doesnt. (Shes masculine and im feminine) When i get home;which is around 7 7:30 pm i expect to have her to myself for a bit. NEVER HAPPENS. When we wake up he wakes up so we dont even have that morning time together. I just feel if they have each other all day that i should have a time slot also. Us not being able to be physical with each other is taking a toll on me/us. Sometimes i feel like he is doing it on purpose but since im not a biological mother i sometimes feel like im being selfish and not understanding the childs needs although i do have my owns needs. Can someone plzzzz help me. Be honest with me.

Comments

Chinkylana's picture

I understand about the carving out time but between working and waiting for him to go to bed i just end up irritated and turned off. And i could get a room for us but what about the long term. Is this something to get used to???

Chinkylana's picture

His bedtime is 8. I usually fall asleep around 9 or 9:30. I have to be up at 6 in the a.m. She has had a rough time finding work. She is a good mother but sometimes i feel like its just not enough hours in the day. We still laugh and have fun at times but it feels like more of a frienship now thelat we dont have sex. I love my little man like he is my own but sometimes i just need our space.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Gotta have a sex life. No way around it. If that is gone from a relationship..trouble is a coming...and not the good kind of come. Make date nights as a start and go from there.

MamaFox's picture

Honey, not counting the kid for the moment, could this be the dreaded Lesbian Bed Death? You know as well as I do how often g/g couples fall into this sort of thing.

Chinkylana's picture

First i want to thank all of u for ur advice. So i will try to respond to most of it. First school starts in a few weeks. We are very attracted to each other. I think it may be me. She touches and feels on me but im always looking over my shoulder for jr. Im usually the one feeling bad because i cant give her what she needs. I just feel pushed to the side a bit when it comes to him which is probably how it should be in some situations. I know she is attracted to me. I do have to take this advice. Maybe i have to just loosen up a little. I just really dislike having to plan. Feels so unnatural. Being a childless step mom is more difficult than i thought. Comes with the territory i guess. I do have money for a babysitter just have never gotten one. Oh and our bodies a awesome. Its me. Im the one uncomfortable. He is just always around which sometimes bothers me and keeps me out of the mood.

Schn0F1ake's picture

This is such a tough topic because I have the same problem--times three! And they are teenagers now!
SD13, SS15, and SD17 are the sex activity task force.
They are constantly trying to catch us in the act even when they aren't IN the act. They sneak up to our bedroom door and listen for it..WTH! Who does that?!
I certainly never wanted to hear my parents going at it, why do they? They hunt through our room when we aren't around, searching for incriminating evidence! It's beyond disturbing!

Schn0F1ake's picture

One night while I was dying my hair(in the bathroom attached to our bedroom) and DH was in bed playing a game on his phone SS17 knocks on the door. "what are you guys DOING in there?"
I blurted out, "We're having sex-okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
DH and I burst out laughing, but not for long. An ungodly tantrum cycloned through the house. All three step-monsters started arguing, screaming, and storming around!
"You guys are so gross!"
"I wanna go back to my mom's!"
"I HATE it here!"