Counseling and Religion
Yesterday DH and I went to our first counseling visit. We're at this point because of a series of things that have happened in our family in the past which for one has obviously effected the way each of us parent. DH is heavily guilt parenting which is making for growing negative dynamics in our household. I'm sure I have my own areas (parenting and personal) in need of focus and improvement as well. Anyway, we went through an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). This is a employee benefit where EAP pays for the first 8 visits to one of the counselors under their coverage. You contact EAP, they give you the name and contact information for 3 or so counselors in your area to select from. A couple from the list that DH was given didn't have an opening for a month or even more. One was only taking women, no couples.
I don't know what to make of the counselor that we met with yesterday...well not him personally but the fit for me/us. I find out when we arrive and begin filling out the necessary paperwork, which included a little write up on the counselor, that he is a pastor. This brief bio also mentions praying with his clients. I am all for faith and pray, but I don’t know if this is the type counseling I am expecting for our particular situation at this time. I guess I will discuss with DH tonight and see what he thinks.
Any personal experiences? Recommendations?
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Comments
I Suggest
mentioning this to the counselor when you meet with him. During your getting-to-know each other session, tell him that although you fully agree with and support the need for faith and religion, you are looking for a different approach to addressing your family concerns at this time. If religion is his way of counseling, then by being upfront about your wants and needs, both parties can agree to continue or not.
Faith-based and tradtional medically trainedcounselors do differ, in my experience. They do, however, share some of the same views and goals.
It is important, though, that the issue is discussed as soon as possible.
My experience
I went to a Christian counselor & she was alright, but she wanted to know why I thought God placed me in that situation. I'm sorry, but looking back it seemed that just took away from the problems I was going through. God was not my problem, why are we talking about Him? Later I went to a psychiatrist & that was a pleasant experience. It felt like I was talking to a new friend rather than talking to someone who wanted to direct me in the way they thought I should go. The psych also seemed to really listen to what I was saying, though she did ask me about my family history.
Cajun Lady
CRUELLA + SUBMISSIVE =
ERROR! ERROR! THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE! THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE!
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
Isn't there anyone else?
I personally resent people talking to me about religion, even though I consider myself a religious person. It sounds weird but I have found that 99% of people who want to talk about religion only want to tell you their view on religion, not listen to yours. Plus that is not where your problems are.
Is this the best option you were offered? I bet if you said you would prefer a 'civil'? counselor they would have to 'accomodate' you. I am not sure of the right word for counselor not religion-based
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus
I think the word You wanted is Secular, Most Evil...
Steve
oh lord
that's it but I never would have gotten that one! thanks
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus
i agree here
u need logical, rational help...not someone whos gonna tell u to have to faith and let God work it out for u. im all for praying and having faith but thats not what you are going to him for...
exactly
i guess i am reaching for something more 'science' based...the science of pshycology.
This counselor does have some initials after his name MA (master of arts in counseling), LPC (licensed professional counselor), LCDC (licensed chemical dependence counselor), but there is also M.Div(master of divinity). He obviously has some credentials. I just don't know how the combination impacts his philosophy of counseling.
DH had is daughter last night so I didn't have the opportunity to ask him what he thought and talk to him about my apprehension. By the time he got her back home and came to bed, I was just too tired to even bring up the subject.
Apprehension
You have a right to be apprehensive, but I think you should give him a try before you make a judgement. Worst case scenario: you end up being right & have more confidence in yourself. In the meantime you could go ahead & set up an appointment for another therapist that will take weeks before you can go in. That way if you do like this guy you can call & cancel the other appointment, but if you don't like him you'll be closer to an appointment with sombody else.
Cajun Lady
cajun's got a point
what can u lose from giving it a try?