catgirl's Blog
Guess I brought this one onto myself...!
Well, it's been a long time since I last posted! Although I've been on here a few times when I've felt fed up with things - just reading other people's stories and knowing I'm not the only one struggling with being a stepparent is more helpful than I would have thought!
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O/T -I think this may be it for us...
*update* Thanks for all the replies, it's been really helpful. I'm not going to leave him the letter. It was cathartic writing it but I now agree with most of you that it's not going to help the situation. I am going to try to talk to him again tonight but if he won't talk to me then I may just suggest we take a break so we can both figure out what we want. I do love the guy and I don't want to break up, but I am starting to feel undervalued and belittled. I guess I had doubts about this relationship from the start but it's really hard to recognise when enough is enough.
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Need to vent...
So it's been a long time since I've posted anything on here. Things have been up and down but generally okay. SO and I have now been living together for over 2 years and SD15 and SS8 have been pretty good about everything. SS8 stays over most weekends and SD15 stays when she wants - maybe once or twice a month, because she's a teenage girl and would rather hang out with her friends on a Saturday night than stay at her dad's.
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Update on SO's boundary problems
Following on from stuff I have posted about previously (http://www.steptalk.org/node/161065). In short, it's all about how I feel SO isn't setting appropriate boundaries with BM, moving her things to her new house, fixing her car, doing her DIY, etc.
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Finding it hard to talk to SD13
Now that SO and I are getting close to moving into our first house together, I have started to become more involved in the skids lives. This past weekend SO and I took SD13 to see the new Star Trek film while SS7 stayed at home with BM as he wasn't well. I've not officially met BM and didn't want to just show up on her doorstep, so I stayed in the car while SO went to the door to get SD. Off we went to eat some pizza, watch the film, and after a few hours we dropped SD back off at BM's house. So far so good.
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SO told the skids we're moving in together
So now they know that their dad has a girlfriend and that they're going to be living together. Apparently SD13 is fine with it - SO tells me she just said she's not bothered. Don't know whether she's truly not bothered or whether she's just saying it to keep him happy! SS7 doesn't seem to really understand, but I think he'll be fine once he's got used to the idea. It's the teenage girl I'm worried about...
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It's SS7's birthday today...
Seven years ago my SO and BM celebrated bringing a new life into the world together. Being a midwife, I see this happen every day and while it's a wonderful thing and all that, the thought of him and BM cradling their newborn baby and being all happy and loved up goes through me like a knife. Seven years isn't that long ago. And now he's off to BM's house to visit his ex-wife and the kids, eat cake that BM made and generally have a good old time with his old family.
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Need to have a moan
Okay, so I know this is going to sound whiny and generally full of self-pity, and I'm not looking for anybody to tell me otherwise. I just need to put this out there so that at least it's out of my head!
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