Perfume Stuffed Animal Update
We have had SS9 since Saturday afternoon. As mentioned in my previous blog, BM has been sending SS with a perfume covered stuffed animal for the past 3 visits. So SS arrived with the stuffed animal, but it's not really a stuffed animal. It's a toy with a plastic head and limbs and a cloth torso so it is impossible to wash. Hint hint: the toy is a little green baby who was very popular after last year's Lucasfilm series aired on Disney+. The scent is on the toy's outfit, which cannot be removed. The scent is rather strong.
DH decided to see how SS did before we set any rules. SS didn't pull it out the whole first day, but slept with it that night, only sniffing it once when getting ready for bed. I found it on the floor wedged between his bed and the wall after the first night. I just left it there and SS didn't seem to miss it. Since then, SS threw the stuffed animal in his closet, where it has sat for the last two days.
SS seems very well adjusted this visit and has been very polite, comfortable, and happy. He has not made comments about missing BM/GF or gotten emotional at all. BM has not asked to call SS or emailed DH either. Let's hope this continues.
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Comments
He will smell that perfume
He will smell that perfume years from now and think Baby Yoda. Lol
This made me literally LOL
This made me literally LOL
I always figured that when my
I always figured that when my SS acted normal on visits, BM's attention was occupied elsewhere, other than alienation. We went long stretches of time when she didn't interfere. But it always started up again.
Yeah we seem to go through a
Yeah we seem to go through a similar ebb and flow with BM. It can be radio silence for months with no issues and then start up again randomly for no reason. I will take the peace when I can get it.
Luckily, since we see SS on such a limited long distance schedule and we get all of our info directly from the source (i.e. school, sports, etc.), so we don't really have a need to communicate with BM outside of confirming pick-ups/drop offs. We usually only hear from her when she needs money, we say no, and she throws a fit which goes ignored. Since court, that really has been the extent of it. Of course she throws passive aggressive comments out occasionally, but it isn't nearly like the blow ups and harassment we used to experience. Her alienation tactics seem to be more passive aggressive and not direct like they used to be. Instead of getting hundreds of abusive, berating emails, now we just get perfume covered stuffed animals.
I hope your visit continues this way!
But if he brings the stinky Baby Yoda back out, Antibacterial Febreeze works a treat!
I will have to keep that in
I will have to keep that in mind!
Douse it with your perfume or
Douse it with your perfume or DH's cologne when you send him back.
I have pets, and would make
I have pets, and would make sure something .. unpleasant happened to that toy. "Sorry BM, Simba is neutered but for some reason he decided to spritz Baby Yoda with urine. I've told Little Johnny not to put his toys in the litter box, but boys will be boys."
Back in the day, BM would
Back in the day, BM would spray SD'S suitcase and ALL contents with Estee Lauder Sunflowers. To this day that scent makes me gag. DH finally got to where he'd leave the suitcase in the freakin trunk.
Still pondering
To this day who this weird ritual is meant to benefit. I mean would a bm send their child to school with a perfume stinking Teddy? Probably not, but they just must desperately missing their bm at daddy's and a strong stink will help!
It must work as we've got a nearly ten stone 12 year old who still carts his Ted's around, and has to ring mummy if he forgets them (giant eye roll)
Nope it's just a really
Nope it's just a really strong PAS tactic, one of many our BM has played. I know damn well that BM only pulls out all the stops before our 6 weeks of yearly visitation. She can't stand that we see SS at all so might as well try to make it hell for all involved.
This isn't quite the same but
This isn't quite the same but, SD was 8 when I started seeing SO. She will be 14 next month. She has a "security blanket" stuffed animal. Those ones you buy for newborns.
When she was younger this thing had to be with her everywhere. She would cry if she didn't have it etc.
Probably about two and half years ago SD was finally ready to box her up and grow out of her. SD was talking about etc. I read a convo she had with BM and BM was like.. " oh no! She needs you! You can't do that to her!" Blah blah.
So, she never got put away. SD doesn't bring her anywhere anymore but, it's still in her bed.
BM holds on to the idea of the kids being small because that's all she has. Hence, the constant repeat time hops she sends them from when they were little and she was (I guess) part of their lives.
It's good SS hasn't been carrying yoda around with him. It's sick behavior on BMs part IMO.
"SS threw the stuffed animal
"SS threw the stuffed animal in his closet, where it has sat for the last two days. "
Sounds like he can't stand the stench of it either ...
LOL its still in the closet.
LOL its still in the closet. He didn't sleep with it last night and hasn't pulled it out of the closet for the past 3 days. Seems like he forgot he even has it.