Caitlin's Blog
Family therapists very concerned about SD's safety
Well, we met with the Family Based Therapy team last night at our house for the second time. They are very concerned about SD's safety with BM (as are we!) Everything they are hearing in these sessions is indicative of emotional neglect. They are saying that this little girl doesn't have a chance to make it through adolescence in that household if BM doesn't make some changes, and it has become very apparent to them that BM is incapable of even seeing that her behavior is the problem and therefore is not able or even willing to consider changing her ways.
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BAD scene at Friday night pick up
Where to begin? My fiance got 4 comp tickets to a children's play so we arranged a surprise sleepover for SD with her friend (the one who came over on the last visit - we'll call her BFF). BFF is SD's friend from swimming. BFF's mom and BM are friendly because they both volunteer for swim team and their daughters are best friends. Well, we didn't tell BM about our plans, not because it was a secret, but because we didn't think it necessary and honestly, we knew she'd try to control it or prevent it in some way because she just wouldn't like it.
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Weirdness at family therapy
Weirdness maybe isn't the right word, because this crap is so typical of BM, but anyway... Last night, my fiance went over to BM's apartment for their weekly Family Based Therapy appointment. The hour-long appointment actually only lasted an HOUR this time! (It's been 2+ hours every week because the therapists let BM blather on about BF's incompetencies for an hour and a half before they get to anything relevant, if at all.) Last night when the therapists told her once again to drop it and move on, she actually said that she was trying to establish a pattern of him being untrustworthy.
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Oh dear God! Could it be?
I was doing some research last night on child support in my state. It is calculated using a standard number as the amount needed to support a child, and then split among the parents according to their income. For example, if it costs $1000/month to support one child and BM makes $25k and BF makes $75k, then BF's CS payment would be $750/month, as he makes 75% of the combined total income. (FYI, these are just hypothetical numbers to show how it's calculated in my state.)
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BM's blather at family therapy last night
Here we go again. Last night, my fiance went to the weekly Family Based Therapy appointment at BM's house and it's the same old crap, different day. BM spent an hour and twenty minutes talking about various subjects like: 1) Things she didn't like that BF did 12 years ago in England. (How is this even relevant?) 2) How BF is in arrears on child support. (Not because he doesn't pay, but because it was retroactive to the date of their separation - she waited 2 years to file and WHAM! he's stuck in major arrears from the get-go.
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SD's banquet = raging success!
You may or may not remember, but last month I was fretting about whether or not to attend SD's swim banquet because of BM's history of making everyone's life a living hell trying to keep me out. Well, we all went yesterday and it was a raging success!
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Sorry excuse for a mother!
My fiance just gave me the rundown of his Family Based Therapy appointment tonight over at BM's. We would both like to thank her from the bottom of our hearts for doing all she can to hand over custody of SD. Gee, we don't need to do anything at all but sit back and watch her act like a complete lunatic in front of the therapists, thus proving herself an unfit mother. Keep in mind, these therapists will make a custody recommendation to the courts when all is said and done. You'd think she'd behave a little better, knowing all this!
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Oh the joy that is my SD!
SD truly is a joy. I am so blessed to have her in my life and every time BM is acting up, I remind myself that if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have this lovely girl as my SD, or as my daughters' doting big sister. I feel terrible for those stepparents out there who not only deal with a vindictive BM, but disrespectful skids who blame them for all that is wrong in the world. I am so fortunate to love and be loved by her. I can't get over what a wonderful little girl she is.
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We found out! It's a....b
We found out! It's a....b
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...baby GIRL! (You thought I was going to say boy, didn't you? Tee hee!)
I teased my fiance about it, saying "well, you thought we were done with this one, but now we've gotta try once more for a boy!" He just gave me the "whatever you want, dear" look. Good answer!
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Oh happy day!
I am in great spirits this morning. I got up super early, had a lovely family breakfast with my fiance and our little one, drove down to meet my mom and drop my daughter off with her for an overnight visit so we can shower lots of individual attention on SD tonight when we pick her up for our weekend. Oh and I had a great conversation with my dad on the phone this morning. He told me he was proud of me - I think I can count on my right hand the number of times he's said that to me in my life. Usually he's just telling me everything I'm doing wrong.
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