:jawdrop:

I don't know if I am just a mean person or horrible or just evil...But I can not stand my SS8. He has been living with us full time for over a year now and I thought, oh its just the changes in his life that are making him act like this...Well he is getting worse. I can not stand to be around him. His eating a meal even drives me crazy, I liken it to a staving dog you give a scrap of food to. He even farts at the table thinking this is hilarious...He disgusts me. He yells at me, then acts like it was my fault he was yelling, because I made him mad (told him to pick up his mess) He throws fits, punching walls, the floor, himself tells us all he wants to kill us and even took his seat belt off in the car and told my 4 yr old he would make me crash so we could all die (Who does that???)...In front of my kids. When he speaks it is like nails on a chalk board and I want to stab my ear drums with a knife.
Mine and my DH life was wonderful and beautiful, we were loving and always happy. Life was good with my 3bkids and him, with his 2 kids on weekends...Now...it.is.hell. I love my sd(2) She is beautiful and just a doll, I don't mind her at all...In fact I love her...SS on the other hand OMG...He lies, about everything...He wakes everyone in the house up through out the night just so that he isn't the only one up when he goes pee. He refuses to take responsibility for any of his actions, he steals food at night, hides candy and then eats its at night (he is greedy not hungry), turns on the TV real low so no one knows and watches it all night, then refuses to wake in the morning for school.(better believe I get him up kicking and screaming I even have to dress him half the time because at 8 he still can't put on a shirt right and by right I mean buttons in the front!) Tells my BD(4) to do things that he knows is bad or against the rules just so she will get in trouble.
My DH has started arguing with me about his Bs always being in the corner and/or in trouble...Well if he didn't disrespect me everyday all day he wouldn't be in trouble.
He is needy and an attention whore, good or bad he must have everyone's attention. My father comes to visit his grand kids and my SS is in his face the entire time. I used to see him 10 times a month or more as he lives just 10 minutes away, I see him once a month maybe because he can't stand my SS. If he is not the center of attention when someone visits he starts telling them about what my kids have done wrong, like did you know so and so got a D on their report card, or did you know so and so got caught kissing a girl to try and make himself look like he is the better child. My father caught on real quick as to what he was doing and called him on it a few times. I can not tell you how proud and happy I was that I was not the only one that saw his actions as horrid, I almost cried. Mind you he has his own grandparents that treat him like gold and he sees them regularly. Even goes on trips with them.
I really miss the way it was with my DH, he is my everything! We dated off and on since we were 16, I know him inside and out and he knows me...We are almost 40 now and I want nothing more then to grow old with him, watch our kids go to college and become productive loving adults. I cry often because I am torn, do I stay with him and raise his kids along with mine and pretend to be happy with the situation and wait the SS out...Only 10 yrs to go...Or leave and be sane for the next 10 yrs...He is my soulmate, his spawn is the anti Christ incarnate