So, you think it is fair for a child to grow up not knowing his father because he controlled your daughter??? I don't think that is fair. If he was cotrolling when they were together then she made the right choice to no longer be with him. They are apart now and she does not have to allow this man to control her any longer. That baby deserves to have two parents. If he turns out to be a shitty dad, then she can seek sole custody, but at least the child will know. Your daughter also deserves to have the financial support from the man who fathered the child. Now, you say was controlling, which leaves alot of questions. Was he abusive? If so, then that changes the whole situation. If you know that he will cause emotional or physical harm to the child, then I would have to say leave it alone. Regardless of what happens, I wish your daughter and her precious child lots of luck.

I'm sorry, cuz this probably isn't what you want to hear. Even if DF may not be the ideal father figure, he has a right to have a relationship with his child. And the child has a right to know it's father. It isn't your decision, or your daughter's decision ... he has this right.

~ Katrina

Your daughter needs to confirm paternity with a DNA test, then work out custody and support with the father, whomever he may be. The decision has already been made, in my opinion. She chose this man to father her child, it's a little too late to change her mind now. And frankly, you and she have no right to take this child's father away from him. Even children have some basic human rights. The child has the right to a father and the father has a right to the child.

When two parents try to raise a child after they've broken up, of course there's going to be what you call "trouble." But what about the "trouble" that will be caused by that child feeling abandoned by his father? What about the "trouble" your daughter will have to face when the child later resents her for keeping him from his father? In my opinion, your daughter made the choice to reproduce with this "controlling" guy. If she didn't want to raise a child with him, she should not have had sex with him.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh and it's only my opinion, so take it for whatever it's worth. I'm married to a man with three children from whom his ex-wife has successfully alienated him. He would give ANYTHING to be able to father his children, but he's not been "allowed" the chance to be much of a father due to interference by the mother. He's paying, his kids are paying, our marriage is paying and our children are paying. It's not fair. If he chooses not to be involved, that's one thing. Nothing you can do about that. But trust me, you don't want to be the one to prevent that father/child relationship. The child will hate you later on.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

A man can be an absolute jerk to a woman, but can be totally different with his child.
Her responsibility is to her child and letting that child have a chance to bond with dad. I say this to you, with knowing that I grew up without my dad, because he was a jerk back then, but 27 years later I am meeting him and you know people do and can change. Growing up without my dad really did suck, why you ask? Well for starters my mom dated a man for 18 years of my life and they separated, he was there from 6 - 23 years of age for me. Guess what he got married and his wife had issues with him still talking to me, so then she married her husband who I adored he was a wonderful man, dad, grandpa, well he passed away, and who is still wanting there dad, me. And I am going to meet him in a few weeks and I am so excited. That loss that I have always felt is no longer there, so let this child have both parents, its only fair to the child. Your daughter if she is above the age of 8th grade, which I say this because we all had Health class and they taught us about sex back then, she made a decision and in that decision a child was made, that child has two parents not one, we all know it takes two people and it takes an ARMY to help raise one child. SO give this child a chance to know his dad and let the child make there own mind up without you or her judging or filling the childs head with crap. Just my opinion. Let me tell you at 32 I always wondered about my real father, always, and it does cause problems that are unforseen in the future. feelings of not be wanted, its all there and it does effect a person.

Happy
"live life to its fullest everyday"