Try and fail with the skid
Ranting and cussing will begin...
So I tried to have a conversation with the SS that reflected a great moment I remember having with my grandmother when I was growing up. The moment with my grandmother was riding in a vehicle listening to the oldies when a Captain and Tennille song came on and she asked do you know who sings this song? I said no, who is it and she explained and we continued all the way home having a great conversation about music past and current at that time.
So, I'm driving the SS home from sports and the iconic Blue Christmas song by Elvis comes on and I remember my childhood moment. I try with this skid. I say do you know who sings this song? And of course I get the uh, nope full of fucking attitude as if he is appalled that I said words to his royal highness. So I continue to try and say it's sung by Elvis. Silence. I then say that Elvis was an iconic figure in the music industry. Silence. Dead silence.
There is no interest, no intrigue no fucking nothing about anything with this pos skid. I remember being a teenager and having so many interests, hobbies and all that but wtf. I've tried to get this skid exposed to potential hobbies but I don't know if he is just an empty soul or fucking too stupid.
While he is interested in sports he doesn't "practice" to improve. The skid acts like he is magically talented in all sports things and he's not. He sucks and barely makes teams. Trying to encourage him by practicing with him and there's no interest at all. Just does the minimum so it can end quicker and he can jump on that damn phone he is glued too. (Phone was SO's doing, not mine.) The lack of emotion and curiosity is baffling to me. Zero interests or desire to do anything. Absolutely laziness. I couldn't say the last time he washed his laundry cause I stopped doing them years ago. SO can be in charge of all that for his kid.
I stupidly thought I'd try again with this little fuck. I'm just so fucking done about giving a shit about anything with the SS. I don't care about his well being, don't give a shit if he eats dinner. I just don't fucking care anymore and I feel like shit because I truly don't care anymore. Fuck being a step parent, I hate it so much. Thankfully there isn't a bio mom because she died. I couldn't handle some of the crazy stuff you guys goes through.
Since all I get is silence from the SS, I'll just start mimicking silence. If he needs something he can fuck right the hell off and go to his father.
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Comments
Disengagement
Have you tried disengagement? How old is he?
I was forced into disengaging
SS is 15. I was forced into disengaging years ago because of the MIL. Because she was a narcissist me diengaging made her even worse cause she couldn't control me like everyone else in the family. My SO stood up to her regarding a child rearing issue and she exiled us and hasn't spoken to us in several years. This forced me back into care taking of the SS but because I had already disengaged the relationship was awkward. Then when I tried to do teaching moments with the SS the SO and his childhood trauma bs came out with the SO constantly needing attention during these teaching moments. Therefore I had to stop that and disengage there. While I'm disengaged I was still trying with the SS but in the last few months his self righteous attitude has spiked and he's becoming a little prick. I guess I was always disengaged with reservations but now I'm just done since he's got this attitude.
My SS16 is only interested in
My SS16 is only interested in sports also. That is it. He isn't good either but makes all teams and then it cost a fortune and a lot of time for all of it. He makes good grades but it is like he knows nothing about life but sports. There is no holding a conversation with him either.He is rude as hell to my SO anytime sormething is asked. I can't stand when people say he is just being a teenager. I have teenage nephews and they are never disrespectful and they alll have full in conversations and always have . Five of them , now ages 13 thru 20. What this kid acts like is beyond being a teen. I have quit even attempting conversations. If it is bothering you like it bothered me, unfortunately my advise is to the do same as me. You can only try so much and then you have to just stop.
Exactly. There are
Exactly. There are developmental instances with being a teenager but this is just the SS being an ungrateful little prick. I'm usually the fixer wanting to make sure everybody gets along for the sake of peace but nobody has appreciated that so why continue. SO and SS can continue to bicker and not get along for all I care. I've given up my peace for years and years and what was the point if we've landed here. I'm going to stick with your advice and just pull back and no longer attempt conversations. No longer going to keep all these damn sports schedules either cause there's no appreciation there either. SS and SO miss a game or practice I'll just say well...as I can't do everything for everybody since nobody does anything for me. I remember playing sports growing up and being humble knowing that while I may enjoy a sport I wasn't that great at. But this skid thinks he's the best at every damn sport which at last count was 6 split between fall, winter and spring.
Your SS sounds like mine. He
Your SS sounds like mine. He plays football, baseball, travel baseball. Has private pitching and batting lessons . He was also playing basketball and BM and SO agreed not to let him play it this year. Well poor little baby only made JV and not Varsity baseball so BM felt bad and went behind SO back and signed him up for red basketball and then he wasn't supposed to start private lessons until after the new year and signed him up for that also.And SO will do for his kid no matter how bad he is treated so he is going to take him to these things and watch the games. I have opted out of all of the games Except for the travel ball out of town overnight games. I am going for SO because SS pays no attention to him.
Wouldn't it have been golden
Wouldn't it have been golden had you looked at him in the car and asked, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
If you ever choose to do that, please get it on video and somehow share it with us.
Yes, disengage from this idiot.
I'm usually the fixer, tell
I'm usually the fixer, tell it like it is and getting everybody to get along. But with this attitude change and bickering between SS and SO, I decided to sit back and watch to see if this was a temporary hormonal change or what. It has taken every ounce of me not to say to SS why you acting like an ungrateful little prick? I'm tired of being more concerned or parenting more than the parent. I've wanted to intervene so bad because I just say it like it is with the truth regardless of who I piss off. The SO can deal with this attitude because I think he's sort of caused it by spoiling the kid in order for the SO to keep the SS as his bff. Biting my tongue has been so difficult I feel that my head could explode. I'm trying to keep my internal peace because I didn't create this situation and SO wouldn't listen to my advise. So it seems over the years I'm adding additional levels of disengagement.
Do teenage kids
Care about music ?
Well he constantly has one
Well he constantly has one ear bud in his ear which i figure is him listening to music. It's usually only one ear bud because he constantly looses one. I don't this this teenager cares about anything but his cell phone. I secretly want him to loose it like the ear buds, no luck yet.
My technique to combat the silence
I use that time to catch up on phone calls.