Ode to stepDADS and their SSs

I don't usually listen to country music but i was having my car serviced and this song came blaring through the speakers:

"My Boy" -Elvie Shane

Now Chef loves OLD SCHOOL country music and probably would not hear this song either because it is nouveau country. The song has a sweet sentiment about a stepDAD and his feelings about his SS, but I could only imagine the uproar if a stepMOM wrote a similar song about her skids!!!!

Oh the HUMANITY!!

thinkthrice's blog
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There are a ton of stepmom's

There are a ton of stepmom's who have done thier own rendtions- they are super sweet too! But wouldn't make it on the radio because like you said- There is only one MoThEr! Stepdad's stepped up, it's different. <insert eyeroll>

I've seen this a number of

I've seen this a number of times on STalk - that step-dads get some kind of praise that step-moms don't get. That certainly wasn't my experience. With my marriage, there was not one bit of respect or appreciation for the work I did, which includes my ex-skids, ex-wife, and all of the in-laws. My assistance (mostly financial, but acts of service too) was an entitelement. Doing good works didn't get me any credit, but a **failure** to do good works certainly got me in trouble.

Despite 18 years of hard labor supporting their lazy, ungrateful asses, skids were glad to see me go, and have not contacted me a single time since divorce. So no, not all all step-dads get the fairy tail described in the song.

No one is saying the stepdad

No one is saying the stepdad ACTUALLY get's to be a father. I think it is the illusion that as long as you go along with what mommy says, you are a hero. You don't get to have your own opinions, expectations or boundaries though. That is just too much!

That might be fair. Maybe SO

That might be fair. Maybe SO does try to create an impression that I'm doing a good job with her family, etc. But I dams sure don't get any opinions, expectations, or boundaries!

I think it perpetuates the

I think it perpetuates the ideation of "deadbeat fathers" who move on with their lives and leave their children behind to forge "new families" with their next partners.. leaving a void in the lives of the kids left behind.. esp the boys.

I mean, certainly, we have seen these situations here... BUT.. we also see a lot of toxic, GUBM's that minimize their Ex;s involvements with their children.. JMTB is a good example of this scenario!

And.. I don't know if there is something more inate with women and the fact that they have birthed their children that they are more connected to them.. and their identity as a MoTHeR means any loss of any of that title is a direct salvo on their whole being... and I'm a woman.. but I still see more women being typically driven by their emotions.. and the jealousy of seeing your kids with someone else seems more triggering. Women compete differently than men do for the most part I think.

You make a great point about

You make a great point about this perpetuating the idea of deadbeat dads. An "ode" to an SK would ideally just be looked at as a sweet gesture, no matter who it is that is giving the "ode". But society can be evil, so we have these preconceived notions about what it means. If a SM does it, she's overstepping (which likely isn't the case). If a SF does it, then people think Dad was a deadbeat and SF had to raise the SK, which is why SF would be able to create the song (which likely isn't the case, either).

I get it - as SMs, many of us feel like we have a constant target on our back no matter what we do while SFs get it easy. I think socially they may get it easier, but some of these poor souls are married to the crazy HCBMs we deal with. It can't be easy being married to a toxic/abusive/narcissistic wife.