Let me just start from the beginning. My husband and I were friends for two years and dated seriously for a year before we got married. During this time he live five hours (out of state) away from his son and the biological mom. He would see his son for about two weeks in the summer, one week at Christmas time, and then about one weekend a month. My hubby and I didn't live together until we were married so during these visitations I was only around during the day and not too often since I worked full time. Now his son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was four (however he father believes this is all bologny). The BM is very irresponsible and parents by yelling and shoving meds down the child's throat. She has two other children by different fathers and treats them the same way.

I knew there were some behavorial problems with his son before we got married however, I feel like the problems were sugar-coated. And I knew the BM was nothing but a drama queen. She would constantly call my hubby when we were dating crying over the phone about her latest boy drama. I finally told him to put a stop to it; its is rude and disrespectful for her to do that and for him to allow her to do that.

Okay, so onto the nasty details. The BM is a major problem in our marriage. I feel like she runs our marriage in some ways. My hubby decided to become a doctor and there wasn't a university in our state specializing in his chosen field but there was one in the state where his son is. So, naturally he decided to go there and he would get to spend more time with his son. Oh I should add that his son is nine and my hubby and the BM divorced when the son was a year old. She moved out of state to be close to her family and has lived there since. Okay, back to the nasty details. So my hubby goes off to medical school out of state for two reasons, as stated above. I was on board with this cause I want him to be close to his son. Once we were married I obviously moved down there.

We were married on a Saturday and drove back to our new home in a new state the following Monday. We didn't really have the money for a decent honeymoon so I told him I would be just happy with having our first week / weekend of marriage just the two of us, no kid. He was fine with that. Well, low and behold as we are driving back the BM calls my hubby crying saying she was kicked out of her apartment and has nowhere to go and her and the two other kids will be sleeping in her car tonight. Total BS!!!! Her mom and her grandmother both live within ten minutes of her I know for a fact they would have taken her and the children in. In fact, the grandmother did that very night!!! And the BM and her children have been living there ever since! But yet we had my hubby's son the first week and wkend of our marriage! I was so upset, our "honeymoon" was ruined by his ex wife.

Well, stupidly I let it slide thinking it wouldn't happen again, this was a special circumstance. Foolish me! So, I can't begin to tell you how many times she will call saying I can't handle him anymore you need to take him and then when he tells her if I take full custody I can't pay you child support because I can't afford to take him in full time and pay you and then suddenly the child is a saint...We pay her $425 a month in CS and have the kid every other weekend. She constantly calls needing more money, yet she doesn't pay for anything! We know for a fact she doesn't pay for rent, groceries, car payment, or utilities. Her mother buys all the kids close and toys. It seems every Sunday or Monday she is posting pics on her myspace page of a weekend of partying and drinking. She also smokes a lot! It isn't our fault if she spends her money on booze, cigarettes, and herself and has nothing left for her children. Since 2009 she has been fired from five jobs, kicked out of three apartments and child protective services has been called on her three times. She blames injuries on the three kids hitting and kicking one another (I don't know what the truth is).

When it isn't our weekend to have the kid she will call on Thursday nights and make up some lame story about the kid behaving badly and we need to take him. I put a stop to that but she still calls or texts! And if my hubby doesn't respond she will leave hateful voicemails saying he doesn't care and he is a horrible father, etc. It gets so old and then my hubby feels guilty about it.

Now on to the kid. I have never in my whole life seen a nine year old boy act the way he does. If you ask him to do something (throw away your trash or brush your teeth) he will say no and start to throw a screaming fit and cry and yell and crawl under the coffe table. He has kicked my hubby in the privates, kicked him in the head, face, and ribs while my hubby was driving! Almost cause a freakin' wreck! He says he hates him and wants to go home and it is all because we ask him to do something besides stare at his DS all day. He has a room full of new toys but yet it isn't enough. He is so badly behaved we don't go out in public with him. If something is needed like milk I go to Wal-Mart and they stay home. We don't want to risk the embarassment. One time we had just gotten to the mall and he decided he didn't want to be there so he started yelling and threw himself down in the middle of the walkway then got up and ran into a store (Dillards) and started throwing the ties off the shelves HUMILIATING! Another time he went through the aisles at walmart and started taking stuff of the shelves and throwing them down the aisles, almost hit an old lady. And no it isn't his ADHD that makes him act this way! I call it "spoiled brat syndrome"

It is to the point now that when he comes over for his wkends with us I stay gone all day and come home at 7pm to make dinner and then I go to the bedroom and read. I have started leaving on the weekends completely and driving five hours to stay with my family. I hate being like that. But I can't stand being around the little brat any longer.

I am so fearful that one day we will have to take him in full time and if it comes to that I think I would seriously consider leaving! My hubby, God bless him, tries so hard to make me happy. He is a great hubby and father. But the kid stresses him out so bad sometimes that come night time he is so angry he just wants to go to bed. I mean our sex life and time together would be nonexistant if he lived with us.

In three years we will be moving back to our home state and he wants to give his kid the option to come with us. I really don't want him to come with us and I am so scared to have a baby with my hubby because I am afraid his son would hurt the baby or his ex wife will do all she can to interfere in our lives.

If I had known this is what it was going to be like I honestly would have waited until he was done with school and moved back to marry him. I would rather deal with a long distance relationship than the kid and the exwife.