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Blue stepmother's Blog

Disengaging Diva!

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Had a great disengaging experience today! I have decided, what I will do re: housework. We got a new dishwasher about two months ago, and of course I was not yet disengaged, so it was a new "chore" battleground. I thought it would make life easier, but then, one big problem with the machine, is that in order to have it clean dishes, you have to load and unload them.... now who was going to do that???

Wept with gratitude when I found this site

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It seems that in my work environment, there are so few SM's . I felt so alone, not having a common experience with anyone, and then I found this site, I wept with gratitude. I never knew there was a step dynamic, and have held out, trying the same thing over and over, with few results, except a lot of hurt and resentment.".... After I found the site,I ordered Stepmonster, read it cover to cover in 2 days, and thought I was doomed, ......not so !!!! I got up, brushed myself off, disengaged, and went to see my counsellor. I have been so much better since.

Finished Step Monster 2 weeks ago, beginning to see the light.........

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I think I'm on to something big......

I am going to re- invent myself. I have done all the mistakes every stepmother has ever done, and I was pretty devastated when I read step monster because I felt that there was no hope, like I had settled, and there was no way to be happy with a man with kids because of my own strong convictions of how children should be raised.

I want the best for them, but I hate them at the same time. How can this be possible?

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I have two step kids and have provided for them since even before dad and I married. I tried my best and even loved them at the time, but now I have withdrawn my involment, my financial support and my patience because nothing is going as I thought it should. The only hope is that their dad is taking a parenting course starting next Tuesday . I think he's way too soft on them, they treat him like crap, and he just keeps giving in to them. I keep waiting for it to get better, but it just gets worse. I can't wait till they move out....