Worry about the skids. will take care of DD
DH was gone for 7 months(Job obligation), and I completely parented DD1 alone. Now he is home and being a great dad, playing with her, changing her, feeding her. He is a great dad in the way he cares for her. But when he tries to tell me what to do with her I want to honestly tell him to shove it. When I first had dd I referred to him for everything. EVERYTHING. He already had 3 kids, he knows best right? While he was gone I was able to get her to sleep in her own bed, eat almost any food, off bottles, off pacifiers she is only 15 months walks no problems, damn near puts her self to sleep, eats veggies. I could go on and on..mother's pride. Anyway since he has been home and since the skids have been back, I really just want to tell him to go shove it. His kid, ss10 still sleeps in moms bed, and will ask how many green beans he has to eat. (4 is usually the max). SS13, is honestly the most dramatic angry child I know. He cannot be left alone with ss10 because he does things like choke him. So am I wrong when I don't want to hear DH tell me what to do with DD? I almost want to say worry about them.I don't want/need your advice.
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I think part of this is that
I think part of this is that you are coming into your power now that you are a mom, and that's good. Having kids totally transformed me. I used to ask everyone for advice all the time, and not really feel confident about my choices. As soon as I had my first, I became Mama Bear, and now I'm a Power House, lol!
So yep, you're starting to feel confident and you're proud of what you're doing, and you have good mothering instincts... you may very well do a better job than Dh and hsi ex did... question is, is this worth fighting over?
Do what you need to do, and let your new confidence lead you. Perhaps DH just needs some time to get adjusted.
Putting all the step issues
Putting all the step issues aside - this is a common problem in the military and other fields where spouses are gone for prolonged periods. The spouse who stays home has to deal with everything and develops their own way of handling things. The other spouse returns home and wants things to be like they were before they left. The returning spouse is trying to fit in and the spouse who stayed home can resent the interference.
Depending on what kind of job your DH has - are there any support groups that would be helpful?
Yes there is support groups,
Yes there is support groups, and counselors. I'm not sure why I did not think about that before. Thank you.
wow...your so right about all
wow...your so right about all of this. Thank you!! Your right it is not getting worked up about. And your right I am trying to understand DH's side of this. He is a great daddy and husband.Not worth it...so true