Letting Go!
I have let go and it feels awesome!!!
After reading posts on here and having some quiet time with myself, I have let go and I get to take care of ME! I have disengaged and if his kids want/need something, he gets to take care of it.
The skids come home this evening for a few days and I'm not sweating it. I have plans for the entire time they are there and I cannot wait!
Loving life 
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No, it has nothing to do with
No, it has nothing to do with my FDH at all. I can't explain it, but it feels so freeing and so good. I haven't felt this good in forever!
Congratulations, 20Love
Congratulations, 20Love
After BM banning me from the
After BM banning me from the kids, I have also disengaged and I am loving it too. I have not even seen the skids for the past month and I could not be happier. I thought I would miss being around the skids, but I feel the complete opposite. Since my BF has them 50% of the time, he complains a lot about my complete absence, but, for once, I need to think about myself. I am not asking anything of him (ie I am not asking him to spend less time with his kids to spend time with me), and so he really doesn't have a right to ask me to keep putting up the verbal assaults and stresses that BM brings to my life. It is so nice to make plans with my friends and carry on with my life without the guilt of feeling like I should be with him and his kids. Then the other 50% of the time I get to hang out with my BF, completely uninterrupted. It has also saved me a lot of money b/c I no longer feel like I have to buy things or take the skids places - since BF and BM cannot afford much.
BM actually did me a great favor by banning me from her kids! Thanks, BM!!!
That sounds like it is a good
That sounds like it is a good thing for you!
It is so freeing isn't it? I kinda thought I would miss it too, but I haven't and I don't. I get to be with my family and friends too, get some exercise or shopping done.
I had to get to that same
I had to get to that same point with my two SS, I tried being the mother they never had and got crapped on, I tried giving them any and everything they wanted and got crapped on some more. After sessions with a therapist, it finally dawned on me that if that's not what they want, there is nothing I could do to change their minds, so I had to decide to be happy myself. I no longer break my neck for their birthdays or buy them anything they ask for. And as weird and crazy as it sounds, my relationship with them has actually gotten better. Now whenever they ask me for things, I refer them back to DH or even their BM. I am not their mother and I will never be their mother, and I'm ok with that. Whenever my SS11 acts bratty, it doesn't bother me anymore. To me, that's DH's problem. For me, life in this stepfamily couldn't be better.