Unloving

My MIL got onto me this weekend about not showing the skids enough love. She said that the skids came to her and told her that they didn't feel loved. She said that she told my H the same thing but when I bring it up to him he kinda acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I used to be able to hug them and kiss them. Something has changed though and I'd just rather not be around them and I'm not sure why. Does or has anyone else ever had this sort of problem?

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Well as SD gets older it is

Well as SD gets older it is harder for me to hug and snuggle her. We used to all the time but it almost seems awkward now. I tell her I love her and she knows I do--but affection towards her has gotten harder.

So you are not alone. I don't have this problem with my own children or my other family members children....I just never bonded really well to SD, I think.

so you have a nosey ass mil,

so you have a nosey ass mil, too??

i KNOW my mil questions the shit out of skids.... even puts words in their mouths.... and then mil tells dh what skids told her...

thank goodness, dh is so onto his mother's tricks (most of the time)....

fuck her, when she pays your mortgage she can tell you how to live... if dh doesn't have a problem with how you interact with skids -- then there isn't a problem....

See that's the problem.

See that's the problem. We've been living in her basement for over a year now because we haven't been able to afford or even find some place else to live. Usually we get along great but it's times like these I want to pull my hair out.

oh shit! well, it's still

oh shit! well, it's still not her place to tell you how to show your affection.... but i do know from past experience, EVERYtime we would go to mils --- she would basically INSIST sd10 at the time hang all over "HER DADDY" --- made me fucking sick... plus i could see mil instructing sd to sit on dhs lap, kiss dh, give dh a hug, etc. made dh and sd very uncomfortable.... not to mention dh has a bad back, so does he really need a 10 yr old hanging on him like a monkey?? i just rolled my eyes or left the room...or got a glass of wine -- depending in what time it was.. or all 3...

good luck on getting your own place SOON.....

I got the "you don't show

I got the "you don't show her enough affection" speech from MIL a few months ago. Basically, you should stick to a neutral response that doesn't agree or disagree with her thoughts. I just say "I'm sorry you feel that way". She's right I don't hug her / tell her I love her. I don't feel that way about her. I'm not really a big touchy / feely type anyway (except with dh). I am not mean to her, but I see no reason to have to treat her any differently than any other adult in her life who isn't related. MIL is not in charge of my relationship with sd, dh or anyone else. I don't tell her who to hug.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.

chuckle I'm not a touchy

**chuckle** I'm not a touchy feely type of person either except with my H too. It's weird because I used to hug my mom and dad and it was okay to kiss and hug them but when it came to other people I just was never that way. I don't give strangers hugs but my MIL does. My H IS NOT a touchy feely person at all and I think that's why I'm that way with him. I crave his affection I think especially when he doesn't want to give it.

I think that is part of the

I think that is part of the issue with In-laws, they expect everyone to be the way they are. I hug my dad, but not usually my mom. My mom isn't touch / feely either. I grew up without seeing much affection between my parents. Hell, my mother only utters "i love you" if I am sick, hurt or traveling by plane. It is actually a big joke in my family. My brother never says it either. I say it a lot because after losing my older brother, I find it so important, but everyone is different. In-laws are always hugging and kissing on the cheek. It skeeves me out!