OT does everyone believe their Husbands, SOs, or BFs when they tell you how much you mean to them?

I love my husband. I know he cares for me. He tells me all the time that he appreciates everything that I do for him and the skids. He tells me that he thinks I'm a very strong person for some of the things he's seen me go through in the short time that we've been together. I hear him tell me these things but I don't know if I completely believe him. I don't "feel" that he loves me. When I'm really upset he doesn't do much to console me. I'm never sure if this is because he just doesn't KNOW how to deal with it or if he just doesn't WANT to. We don't talk to each other all day long anymore, I used to call him on my lunch hour until he chewed me out for interrupting him when he was with clients. Now I don't talk to him all day. I call him when I'm on my way home and he's always in a hurry to get off the phone. I get home and I'm upstairs cooking dinner for him, the skids, myself as well as MIL and FIL while looking over the skid's homework, while he's downstairs on the computer for "work". He'll come upstairs when dinner is ready and eat as fast as he can to back downstairs to get back on the computer or to stare at the TV. I try to talk to him and he doesn't engage willingly with me. Last night I had to "trap" him in the car when we got home from taking SS to boy scouts to try and talk to him about the kids. I don't know. I don't doubt that he cares but there are times when I feel really unloved and I'm starting to resent the things that I do do for him and the family when I don't get much in return. Just wondering if anyone ever felt the same way. Sorry for being off topic.

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Yes, it has happened to me

Yes, it has happened to me before, where I feel like I am the:
maid
cook
babysitter
dry cleaning lady
referee
evergiving
fix holidays and birthdays
happy go lucky
underappreciated
SM
I am working on taking time out for ME now. Let's see how it goes.

I'm not a counselor or

I'm not a counselor or anything either, but I totally agree with goforit. Definitely ask him in a non-confrontational way about how he is feeling and what you have been noticing lately. He may be going through a depressive funk, and some men are not vociferous about their emotions.

I believe my SO when he tells me he cares for me, even if we have our ups and downs. Arguments and bumpy roads present themselves in almost every relationship, but it doesn't mean you don't care about that individual, right?

HUGS for you, and I will definitely let you know how my situation works out.

Please keep me updated on

Please keep me updated on that as I would like to know how it goes. Maybe I can start to do the same thing.

Read "The Five Love

Read "The Five Love Languages" http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

My BF isn't affectionate, or consoling all the time. But that just means I have to pay closer attention to when he is trying to show me he loves me. He's doing it, I just don't always notice it. It also helps to learn each other's love languages so that we can understand what makes our partner feel loved. He may be doing things that HE thinks is showing you love and making you feel loved by him, not realizing that this isn't the love language you understand.

I realized that his love language was "Quality Time" - not always with just me and him, but as an entire family. When I engage in activities with them, that makes HIM feel loved. Now that I know that, I can be more aware of when I need to do these things. My love language is "Words of Affirmation". He was showing me love by doing "Acts of Service"...which doesn't show me love...now that he is working on Words of Affirmation, it really does make a huge difference in feeling loved by your partner.

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

YES!

Ha! That is EXACTLY what I

Ha! That is EXACTLY what I was going to suggest!

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

LOL - and where do you think

LOL - and where do you think I got my advice from BB

ETA: The book was an AWESOME suggestion! Thanks Belle!
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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I agree with this also.

I agree with this also. Everyone shows their love in different ways....

Kat, call me cynical, but I

Kat, call me cynical, but I don't believe any love, other than the love of a Parent to a child can be unconditional.
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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

DH and I just had this

DH and I just had this discussion last evening, after I threw a hissy fit. See sm27's list! I could have written it.

DH loves me and tells me often, and I him. Started sounding a bit empty to me though as I was picking up more and more of the drudge work, and his attention focused more and more on one of his troubled kids. DH just doesn't pick up on my cues of unhappiness, and I agreed that I would just TELL him I need him to do xyz instead of assuming he'd notice the sink full of dirty dishes or whatever. This is still, to me, a lot like being in charge of the dishes, but, fine, if I tell him it's his turn and then retreat with a glass of wine, that's ok with me.