So, I have a sd. She is 13. We do not live in the same state as her BM. SD is to spend between 6-7 weeks with DH during the summer. Originally this was split into a two week period followed by two weeks back with BM then a month with DH. This was the CO due to the you g age of SD when CO was put in place. For the past two yrs SD has just came for 6 weeks straight. This has given BM a break from buying the one flight a yr she was required to buy, btw. So at the Christmas visit SD was telling DH how her mom bad mouths him and says he doesn't pay cs and that her mom doesn't want SD coming to DH for the summer. This made me mad and I pulled up the court payment records and showed SD so she could read for herself that DH not only pays but has been paying more than ordered due to an agreement that I made with BM to give her more money outside of courts. Well, this infuriated BM when SD got home and the open communication that BM and I had had was destroyed. So then BM tells DH that she will be sticking to the original split schedule for this summer but that he might have to give up some of his time due to SD activities. SD was wanting to do cheer team. Well, SD didn't make the team so now is back to no activities.
I've always had a close relationship with SD. Her and I get song great and I have always treated her as my own. She calls me mom and strangers that see us together never question if she's mine. Even BM has texted in the past how she can tell when SD is talking to me rather than DH because SD is more animated and engaged. Just in February as I was Facetiming SD as we normally did, she asked me for new cell phone cases and I let her pick out two and bought. Had them shipped right to her. She called excitedly when they arrived.
So now that BM doesn't have any activities to use as a reason for SD not to spend the summer, she has put it in SD head that I am the reason. SD texted DH after being rude to him on the phone (first time she's ever disrespected him) that the reason she is unhappy is because she doesn't like me. What?!?! I'm not new either. I've been in her life as a mother figure since she was 5. Doesn't like?!?! So DH told her that he needed more than that to go on. So then SD told him that I called her a b*^+#. WHAT?!?! I would never have!! At first she texted that I am mean to her I. Front of him. Then she said on the phone to him later that she overheard me on the phone to someone talking about her. OMG!! I swear in my kids I did not and would not call her anything bad!! I've gotten on to her for her behavior in the past but that's the extent of it. Nothing I don't do for my own kids. But wow, oh wow! So now she refuses to speak to me or her siblings. She has allowed her mother to effectively cut her out of our lives and it will only hurt SD. So sad! It does crush my heart. I'm just at a loss and anxiously await the fact that I'm sure this isn't over.