Sad---Search Engine Observation
Ok, I went onto Yahoo search and typed "dads." Do you know what the first suggestion that Yahoo offered??? DEADBEAT DADS!
I really think it's sad that when society thinks of dads it's usually the same way that Yahoo just thought. It would be nice if society could see that there a plenty of men out there that love and support their kids (in many ways not just financial) every single day. I actually think some of these men get beat into the ground (by their ex, society, etc) with people thinking the men are "deadbeat dads" then these men just get tired & leave the situation altogether.
I'm not saying there are no deadbeat dads out there, because there are---I had one of them. I always called him "father" because I always believed in the little phrase---"Any man can be a FATHER, but it takes a special father to be a DAD." Thus maybe we should coin those men as "deadbeat fathers" and not "deadbeat dads." IDK, I'm just thinking out loud today.
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It does hurt to know that
It does hurt to know that everytime we turn around these BM's to our stepchildren call them dead beats. They make it to where some of these men believe it and then they feel guilty and they shouldnt.. There is only so much a person can do and endure. We know that not every dad that doesnt live with their children are dead beat fathers. As long as they make the effort to pay for them, call and make contact.. or at least try anyways.. they arent dead beat fathers. Sometimes some of these women ask too much of someone that has others in their lives.. aka "us" the new wives, girlfriends, fiances, whatever it may be I think they get pissed and are bitter and think that the best way to hurt them is to accuse them of being bad fathers and dead beats.
"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-Joshua J. Marine
I think
people need to realize there are deadbeat moms out there too. Even the ones that have the kids are still deadbeat. They use the kids to control dad and take him money (oh amd I talking about BM here, you bet your sweet ass I am.) But, like most courts, everyone is pro mom. Oh, I carried them for 9 months I have more rights than anyone. What the F ever. OMG people need to wake the hell up and realize BM's are the ones that do the shit we complain about all day on here. They all need to just grow up or disappear.
Sorry, I am on one of my I HATE THIS SHIT days...
dead beat dad
It is true that there are lots of dads out there who worm out of their obligations, either financially or just being a parental "void".
What is really irksome to me is that my ex is one of those who helps propagate the myth. Most of her friends and even her ex husband (until recently) had know idea how much child support I pay, or the great lengths I had to go through in order get what courts consider "fair visitation".
Your exactly
right. BM's do their best to try and make it difficult for dads to see their kids and playing games. All the while telling people, oh he never sees them or calls. Bitches, what is wrong with these people upstairs that they can not get it through their thick skull and just GET OVER IT already
Deadbeat Mothers
Trust me, I know there are plenty of deadbeat mothers out there too. Hence my reason why I feel this "deadbeat dads" issue is one-sided, because people never look down upon the mothers (maybe some but not a lot---I think most of them are on this site---LOL). What happens when you do a Yahoo search for "moms?" The first that pops up is the international moms club. Not deadbeat moms.
I know a good bit of men that their wives have abandoned him & the children. One of those men had 4 kids and another one of them had 3 kids. That's only a couple of the men. None of the BM's pay a dime in child support, can't hold a job, live a louse of a life, and usually have criminal charges stacked against them.
The guy with three kids has an ex-wife who sometimes works (usually fast food for minimum wage, doesn't pay the court-ordered CS, has moved to another county, dating one guy who is still married to another woman (b/c they had an affair), and seeing other men all at the same time. The guy with their kids pays for and supports all three of their kids. His EX never uses her court-ordered visitation. The kids a two boys (9 & 7) and one girl (5). They are adorable kids, which only made me ask WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEIR OWN MOTHER NOT WANT THEM??? :? Some things are beyond me.
One more thing....
Not all mothers or fathers are deadbeat parents. There are wonderful EX's out there taking the time to do what it is truly best for the child. I know some of those type of folks too. We're just not in the type situation.
Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat.