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Cinderella was probably a brat's Blog

How do I do it?

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Submitted by Cinderella was ... on Wed, 12/22/2010 - 6:18pm

I see now how helpful the idea of disengaging can be for a SM... but I cannot seem to figure out how to implement it without so much friction and hurt feelings resulting in my marriage. My DH essentially feels a huge amount of personal rejection at the idea that I would ultimately be happier being less "hands-on" in raising his kids. He can't mentally separate my relationship with him from my relationship with the kids because to him, we are all on "his team".

Told him to fix it or I'm out...

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Submitted by Cinderella was ... on Mon, 11/01/2010 - 9:03pm

I finally let my DH come back last night after spending 3 nights at his parents house with the kids (over Halloween- my all time favorite holiday. Seriously, I wait all year for it. He even proposed to me on Halloween cuz he knows what a big deal it is for me, but anyway...) . Already though I am regretting letting him come back, because so far I see no concrete effort to change anything but rather just his puppy dog eyes and promises to "work on it".

Not sure if we're gonna make it...

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Submitted by Cinderella was ... on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 12:49pm

My DH and I have been constantly fighting for weeks now about the boundary issues I have with BM. Sure, there was a parenting plan established at the time of their divorce, but they pick and choose which parts of it they will adhere to and it drives me insane. Basically, she knows that he would like to spend as much time with the kids as possible... but instead of them trying to have a formal arrangement for that ahead of time, it has turned into her just calling him (and sometimes me) to "watch the kids while I..." for months now.

Help! BM is a financial disaster zone and I am in her path of destruction.

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Submitted by Cinderella was ... on Tue, 09/28/2010 - 11:31am

How do I prevent her financial tailspin from affecting my own financial security and future?? My DH's XW has about the financial responsibility of an 8-year-old. She refuses to work (despite having been offered a few jobs, but she doesn't like the schedules so she turns them all down), lives off food stamps and medicaid, and continues to perpetuate the money problems that contributed to their divorce to begin with. She buys unnecessary things she can't afford and takes vacations with the money her parents give her to survive on. What do I care you ask?

Where have you people been all my life?

Cinderella was probably a brat's picture

Submitted by Cinderella was ... on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 2:10am

Ok, since I don't know where to begin... I'll just start rambling and hope some of it makes sense. I have only been a SM for about 10 months, and although my DH and I dated for about a year and a half before we got married... I had no idea how hard this gig would be. I was warned about it, sure, but mostly by people who didn't really have any first hand experience about step parenting. Why should I take the advice from my overtly pessimistic mother about what I was getting myself into, when she was basing all of it on the few encounters she'd had with step families in her past??