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Another hospital stay, still no contact

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 8:27am

DH was admitted to the hospital last weekend. There is every chance he will come through this fine, but also likely that hospital stays are part of our new normal. I was looking at him laying in the hospital bed yesterday, and he looks like a frail old man. That can't be my DH!

So in a way I understand the skids' denial. That doesn't stop the march of time though.

I have not contacted them, and to my knowledge DH hasn't either. He has posted his situation on social media, which they both use. No response at all.

So what is my obligation if/when things turn south and he is too incapacitated, or worse, to communicate himself? I feel like all I want to do is send them a copy of the obit and hire a security guard for my house.

 

Comments

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 8:35am

Clearly, they are not family...just biological children. Reach out to those who love you and your DH, your friends, family on your side, etc.

My DH celebrated his 70th birthday last weekend. He has one son local. That 30 year old man couldn't find the time to stop by his dad's just to visit him let alone enjoy a nice gathering with his dad.(Think he'd even show up at a hospital????)  But MY son was here....he and DH have a great bond. My daughter, out of state, Facetimed with him during the party. And that was MY moment. Realization hit. They are not family. Put a plan in place for future. I'm working on those details now.

Best to you. Take care of your DH, enjoy your time with him and the friends and family you have that love you. Hugs.

 

CastleJJ's picture

Submitted by CastleJJ on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 8:42am

My family has a few estranged family members. My grandma died last year. When she did, we didn't hear anything from her skids or her estranged daughter, even though it was on FB. We notified them via obituary and left it at that. It isn't our job to keep them updated on family occurrences when they put in no effort to maintain a relationship. It's a two way street. 

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 10:10am

Aging brings its issues. BUT I refuse to let things that I CAN control destory my Golden Years. Like toxic SKs....actually toxic people in general. I can control that with proper boundaries. I hope this poster can take that to heart and ignore these uncaring SKs of hers.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 11:02am

I have no contact with them. But my heart breaks for DH and that is hard to ignore. 

If they were to get in touch with me, I don't see how I could hold my tongue. 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 11:07am

I'm thinking of you guys and hoping for the best.  We older couples would like to see our lives stay the same but the changes are all too apparent.  

As for your SKs, if DH is able to post his condition on social media, no need for you to do anything.  If/when he's unable to do so, I'd send one text if he's admitted again, or passes.  You'll probably hear from them if he passes, looking for any inheritance.

Again, hoping for the best.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 11:28am

As if this isnt stress-filled enough, you have to deal with the emotional toll of toxic skids.

It makes me sad knowing feral forger and how she will be if anything happens to husband. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 7:14pm

Send a tex to a group text with you, DH, and each of them. "Your dad is in the hospital.  Please give him a call."

Nothing more, nothing less.  Then  you have done due diligence to inform while not chasing them around trying to sniff their toxic asses.  Put the onus beyond that single text on them.  If they reach out, answer as minimally as possible with information they ask questions regarding.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 12:24pm

Yes, this is good. I would probs do that too.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 12:40pm

Merry these skids sound just awful.

You know who they are. Sadly, so does DH.

They are aware of the situation. Their choice.

Group text is a good idea. You know how some skids are. They twist and turn anything and everything. On one hand I can just hear it "that awful Merry she never even told us that daddio was in the hospital  she's the reason our family drifted apart" 

On the other hand you shouldnt give AF what they say. It was posted as you said on social media. 

Damned if you do and damned if you dont . The life of a SM. So do what makes you feel good.

Worrying about them is the last thing you need right now.

Blessings to DH recovering.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 2:01pm

If anything happened to DH my only contact would be YSD18.

OSD20 has blocked both of us on everything and we don't even have her current phone number.

I never have BMs contact info on principal.

PetSpoiler's picture

Submitted by PetSpoiler on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 5:20pm

I don't plan on contacting SS if anything happens to DH.  He can find out via other family but I will not make any effort whatsoever.  I'd prefer he didn't come to the funeral and just pretend like we never existed. I don't think he will try anything.  I'm armed if he does. If he shows up to my funeral I'll come back and haunt him and his She-Devil of a wife.  When people show you who they are, believe them.