I don't understand why I even care that my DH's kids don't speak with him much. I should be happy that I get him all to myself. He bought his daughter a few items for Christmas. She's 24, single, I'm pretty sure she's never had a relationship. Her mother and her have not had the best relationship over the years. I thought she was close with my husband. SD lived with us for about a year and a half after she graduated from college. She really did not want to live with her mother. 

When she wanted to live with us at 21 years old, my DH flew to TN and drove to ME with her. It took her forever to find a job. She basically sat around all day doing nothing while we were at work. My husband came up with the bright idea to PAY her to do chores while we were at work. Things she should have been doing anyway. We would have never asked her for money to stay here, but she could have at least helped out a little without being paid. 

This went on for maybe a month. DH would leave a list of chores for her to do while we were at work. She would take the list and pick and choose what she would do. He was paying her about $60 a week. I finally told him it was enough. She needs to work and get out of the house. 

She also came with 2 cats that I did not know about until they were at our house. I wasn't happy because we had 3 dogs at the time and they had never been around cats. I didn't want her cats getting hurt by our dogs. 

We let her keep the cats in her room for a while. The room is pretty small and she had 2 litter boxes in there. After a bit, I couldn't take the smell of the litter. The room was much too small to keep them in that small of a space all the time. Plus, they were young cats and needed room to play. 

When she finally got a job, we said that she could keep the cats in our basement while she was at work and air her room out. The whole room smelled of cat litter, her clothing smelled like her cats and litter. It was gross. We got a cat tower for the basement for the cats. It wasn't meant to be cruel, I thought it would give them some extra space. She cried and refused to eat with us for a few days. She would only come out when we were not around. When I tried to talk to her about it she ignored me. Then she would "forget" to put them downstairs. She acted like it was a torture chamber. There is a home gym down there, our computer is set up, there is heat. We have even turned part of it into a spare room. 

I found (while snooping, I know) a letter that she wrote to DH. It started, "if you are reading this, I have left". And went on and on about how we should have done research on cats before she got there, how he was never there for her brother, how my DHs family is so judgmental(the same family that has done so much for both her and her brother). 

We did get through this. After her mother was arrested, I felt like she could finally tell us more about their childhood. Her mom had tons of live in boyfriends, she would also threaten the kids with having to live with us when they were bad. Like are we that terrible?

Anyways, after her year and a half here, we gave her furniture, rented her a UHaul and DH helped her move to VA. She wanted to move there and had saved up enough to go. A year later (may 2022), she decided she could not continue living on her own. It was too expensive. She asked DH for advice multiple times. She decided to move back to TN to live with her brother. 

Now that she is back around her brother and mother, she's ignoring DH. He texts her and all he gets back are one word answers, or nothing. When he asked for her address for Christmas she said that he could send it to her mothers house,  that's where her mail goes. I know that she did not want to give him the address since her brother and DH have just about no contact.

I found the address online as it was a recent real estate transaction and DH sent a few items to both of them. I'm just wondering if they will bother thanking him for the gifts or if they will be upset that we found the address.