My ss10 lives with DH, BD1 and me fulltime since BM is dead. Ss's maternal family is going through hard times, which has brought a lot of attention to ss. The extra attention drives me bonkers because ss is smart and knows how to milk a situation. It has driven a serious wedge between DH and me because I now get less time with DH to compensate for all of ss's losses. (Please see "My Selfish Guilt" for an explanation.)
Ss is niether the cleanest nor well dressed child and hygiene is really important to me. He sweats A LOT, smells bad and he has SO much dirty hair on his head!!!! When he doesn't use shampoo (he thinks rinsing his hair is OK), it looks disgusting. Ss has a haircut that is supposed to be styled like Justin 'Beaver'. Well, ss is effing lazy;: he will wet down a comb with water and heavy styling gel and brush it all from the back of his head to the front...flat...with the comb streaks present. But it's just the top of his head, not the sides or the back that have gel or are wet. It drives me insane!!! He gets made fun of at school for it and complains to DH about how the other kids treat him poorly. I have shown ss multiple times how to style his hair and have discussed with DH that ss does not listen to me and that I think ss likes the attention he gets from styling his hair poorly. (DH goes to work super early and doesn't normally see ss ready for school. SS is also loving the "poor boy, he's just going through so much" at school. Puke!)
This morning, since DH and ss were home on vacation, DH got a glimpse at ss's before going out and about in public! Ss didn't go full-out, so it wasn't flat, but the comb streaks were present and the sides and back were still sticking out in several directions. (DH is bald...so hair is a touchy subject.) I told ss he would not go out in public with his hair looking the way it did and he said, "Dad said it looked fine." I told ss he looked like he was lazy and reminded him how his hair was to be styled. "Dad said I looked ok, so it's ok." I cringed, told ss I would be talking with his father and walked off swearing up a storm.
When I found DH, I started spewing I was so pissed. I asked him about ss's hair and he said, "well, he's 10 and doesn't know how to style it yet." Given my husband's sensitivity to hair, I blurted out "IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING REVERSE TOUPEE AND I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THAT AND A BALD MAN!" The minute I said it I knew I had probably crossed a line. DH calmly said, "Touche! I will talk with him." Problem solved! Sometimes, the small things can just make a day!!!