My SD uses our house as a laundromat
So my SD16 (I posted story leading up to this called My house MY rights...right??) has been sleeping - and that's all I mean sleeping, as she doesn't have a bedroom OR even a bed - at her BM's for the last 11 days minus a couple days at my MIL's. The only time she comes to our house (where she's lived full time for the last 5 years) is to do her laundry and get ready in the mornings. She'll literally come to our house at 6 am, take a shower, get ready for school, eat breakfast, pack a lunch, and leave. She came over on Sunday afternoon to do her laundry. Does anyone else find this ridiculous?? My DH doesn't seem to mind and says it's no big deal. I'm not sure who I'm more pissed at...the BM or the SD! I'd be willing to bet that the BM told her that my SD will have to shower at night or at our house because she only has one bathroom and they both need to put on their 5 lbs of makeup in the am. But if the SD and the BM want my SD to live there, why should I have to deal with SD using us for simple things like showering and laundry?!?! What kind of useless mother doesn't let her kid shower and do laundry at her house, but wants her kid to live with her?? SO ANNOYED!!!
your dh has custody, but
your dh has custody, but she's spending most of her time away? if this is the situation and if i applied it to my situation, i'd be more than happy to allow her to shower and use our washer/dryer (as long as she wasn't leaving a mess for me, was doing well in school and not getting into trouble) and have her at her mother's most of the time. if, however, her mother is a negative influence on her, it would have to stop and she would spend every night in her custodial home. what is the reason your dh has custody?
The BM signed full physical
The BM signed full physical custody to my DH when my SD was 11. The BM couldn't handle her behavior and thought that my SD would straighten up if she lived with us. The BM had nothing to do with my SD for the last 5 years even though she lives in the same town!
On one hand, I TOTALLY get
On one hand, I TOTALLY get your frustration, and yes I think it is ridiculous that she does that.
On the other hand, I'd be SO THRILLED if either of my steps ever showered or had any interest in personal hygeine of any kind (including wearing clean clothes), I'd be over the moon and probably let them use our showeres washers/dryers all they wanted!!
But seriously, she is totally using your guys (or your house, rather?). That's not cool and I'd be really irritated.
then she's probably not being
then she's probably not being supervised much at her mother's, and if not, she's at a critical age and could into alot of trouble.
IF she's leaving the shower
IF she's leaving the shower and laundry area clean I don't have a problem. My steps did laundry as adults for several years when they lived nearby to avoid paying and using those (potentially) dirty public machines.
If she leaves a mess make sure Daddy is informed and told either he cleans it up or he has her do it. She's not a child and if she can't keep it clean then its off-limits.