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Back when ss14 moved in with us in march he was told that he must turn over the password to his Facebook account or he would not be allowed to use the Internet unless someone was sitting right next to him. All my other kids have given me their passwords years ago. He refused. Ok- no one got angry at him- that was just the choice he made. Then found out he was sneaking on their anyway- so at that point I simply figured out his Facebook password myself and changed it so he no longer could access it. He ended up taking over a cousins facebook he helped make and snuck onto that one and that is the one he uses today.he moved out in June. Probably in July he called his dad and asked him to have me shut down the old account. I frankly never bothered as for one, its not my problem. And as far as I know you can't really get rid of an account- I could deactivate it but then I could also activate it whenever I liked as well. I have got onto this account on occasion to keep tabs on my Inlaws- we have blocked them from all of our accounts but I feel the need to know at times what they are up to. I don't send messages from his acct or post anything on the wall or any other sort of nonsense. I got on there last night and he had wrote on the wall of his account for his new account and said "you better shut down this old account, I'm not even playing". I was like wth? He knows it was me specifically that has the account and so for him to talk like that really pissed me off. I took over the account while he was in MY house and I was trying to supervise the kid. He refused to comply with the rules so I took it over so he couldn't use it. Ironically, he hacked his cousins account and changed it to his name, photos, and everything for no reason other than he thought it was easier than making a whole new one. He even laughed about it to his cousin. So he can hack someone's acct and completely take it over and it is funny and perfectly ok- I can take his over in an attempt to get him to follow the rules and its wrong and he's going to order me about?
I wasn't sure what to do with the wall post- just ignore it, respond, whatever? So I simply "liked" it. He was on at the time I guess and responded back "haha very funny" and then blocked the account. So ok. I just thought it was strange that he would be so rude and actually thought I would comply? He hasn't returned dh' s phone calls nor spoke to him at all in 2 months. He could leave his dad a message on Facebook, but he's too busy being lips with me, I guess.
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Just delete it and be done
Just delete it and be done with it - that's what I'd do
But that doesn't really suit
But that doesn't really suit me. I do use it to keep tabs on the Inlaws. I like to know what sorts of attacks they are planning on us next. Or maybe I just like to see my sil's kids wearing my kids clothes that she's stolen in pics. It helps me to know when I should just stop looking for a missing item.
And truthfully I don't think you can "delete" an account. I could deactivate it, but simply activate it again whenever I liked. So what's the point? He's blocked himself from it now so he won't know whether it is deleted or not. Not that he ever even knew I was getting on there n the first place. He just doesn't like the fact that I could be speaking to people that know him and that I did not do what he commanded months ago.
How am I impersonating
How am I impersonating anyone? I have access to the account and can get on it- the same as my other 3 children. Good parents do typically have their kids passwords. I don't impersonate him, post anything, or do anything other than get on there from time to time.
After that little smart ass
After that little smart ass threat? I'd be keeping the account open. No 14 year old is going to make snively little threats to me and have me comply.... but I'm just a beeotch.
Yep, not gonna lie that's
Yep, not gonna lie that's part of my reason as well. It serves a purpose for me right now so that's why I leave it open- but I am certainly not inclined to go out of my way and do anything for this kid that has created so much havoc in mylife. I just consider it not my problem that he wants it closed.
He probably is irritated that
He probably is irritated that people friend him on there and not on his new site...
I would keep it...Just to irritate the hell out of him. Don't engage though!
He doesn't live with you
He doesn't live with you anymore so I think any attempts to get him to "follow the rules" are futile. I think you ought to make a clean break from these people. What your dh does is up to him.
I have to say though, I feel sorry for ss. It doesn't sound like his mom or dad really parented him. It certainly sounds like bm was and is a pos parent. And we all know nobody wants to be parented by a stepparent. On top of that, the stepparents' parenting counts for nil when the bioparents aren't parenting. Unfortunate, but true.
Now, he has been given up on by both his parents and is living with a pot farmer. No wonder he is so screwed up.
I know you and your kids have been through a lot too. I don't know if there will be any winners in this situation.
Please don't feel too sorry
Please don't feel too sorry for him. He's been like this his whole life. He did not have a rough childhood- this stuff with his bm started when he was in about the 3rg grade. He lived with us since age 2. He had all the benefits and privileges a kid could want- a nice home, ability to participate in whatever extracurriculars he wanted, a hot meal on the talbot, family vacations, help with his homework every night AND two parents AND two step parents that wanted him very much. BM divorced his stepdad when he was in 3rd grade and that's when things went south in that home- however she continued to very much want him until about 8th grade. My dh was unable to take him back at the point due to his military service.
He has never been happy with anything. He never liked being in our home even as a child. His BMs was the promised land. Once he got to BMs he didn't like it there either. When she kicks him out- he didn't want to come here. Hence the first stay with mil. After 7 months my dh took him back because he wanted him. We all tried really hard for months and ss still hated ll of us and hated it here so back to mils he went. It is not as simple as neither of his parents want him. They both very much wanted him for many many years but eventually they both, for different reasons, came to the realization that they cannot manage him. I realize that my Inlaws don't really manage him, but they coddle him and tolerate his bad behaviors. In the end it certainly doesn't benefit him in anyway, but at least he is it terrorizing me and mine.
This kid isn't in your home,
This kid isn't in your home, and is barely in your life. It's not your account, it doesn't belong to your child, and frankly... if it was reported to FB, THEY'D shut it down, because you have it open under a false name.
Why create all this drama for yourself? Who cares what the ILs do... you have nearly nothing to do with any of them anyway.
Personally, I can't believe no one at SS's/ILs are smart enough to figure out how to get into the account on their own... there are ways, and SS should just close it down.
I honestly can't believe you're posing as a SS you cannot stand to stalk other family members.
I believe if a "crazy BM" did this, everyone would blather on and on about how she is a stalker and needs to get a life. Sigh.
It's not open under a false
It's not open under a false name. I'm not doing anything on it besides looking at other people's post. I didn't create the page or open it under false pretenses. I'm not creating any drama for myself. Where's the drama? Mostly I was just surprised that he would even put that.
I am not trying to get him to follow any rules and I don't care what he does. I attempted to get him to follow rules while he lived here which is when I took over the Facebook account. It is the same thing I would have done to my own children, dh knew and approved of it. It wasn't a big deal. He went out and took over someone else' s account. I don't care about that either. I leave the account open because it serves a purpose for me now. My Inlaws ARE truly crazy. I feel like I gotta watch my back and the backs of my family. Truly. It's not that I want to see if they went to the grocery or saw the latest movie. I don't respond to anything they post, but it is helpful to me to know that they may be at this event or that event over the weekend. I try not to let them affect my life, but at this point in time it is simply better for everyone in my family if we are not in the same location as any of them. Does that make sense? This is not about drama, it is not about impersonating anyone- it is truly about avoiding drama. I've had control of this account since march. Which is why it surprised me that all of a sudden he is on there making passive aggressive threats since there has been no activity on it.
What's seems ridiculous and
What's seems ridiculous and juvenile? I as the adult in my household took over a Facebook account that we, as in dh and I didn't allow him to have. How is that juvenile? That's called parenting. Would have done the same to my own kids. I didn't deactivate the account right away as the hope was that he would learn to follow the rules and could have the account back. After we found him sneaking onto the computer to look at porn we just locked him out of the computers altogether. The account was forgotten about for months. After it became apparent that someone was systematically stealing from us and the likeliest inspects were dh's family- we blocked them and cut off all access. They contined to steal thru credit card theft. At some point I felt anxious and worried about what lengths these people would go to so I started seeking info on what they may be up to. Kept tabs for awhile. After sil arrested I started checking it again as we were truly fearful of some sort of retaliation from Inlaws.
My looking at their Facebook accts thru ss's acct harms him in no way. He has no way of even knowing I'm doing it. I don't post on his acct, I don't pretend to be him. I only use it as a tool to watch out for MY family. Again, it's why I was surprised that he left the comment as their is no activity on the acct and has not been since he used it over 6 months ago.
Thanks for the awesome support!
You took over his account to
You took over his account to spy on people that you have either blocked or have blocked you. That's not cool. Delete the account. You are obviously making things worse.