I'm lost. SS is 18, high school grad who needs to upgrade a course to get into college.

BM is someone who chooses to live her life expecting others to help her (financially) and never is in the wrong about anything. Has raised both her kids (different fathers) to be so dependent that they are not able to do some basic things to support themselves.

Father (never married BM) suffers from depression and has trouble coping. Self-employed with fluctuating income.

I'm on medical leave with a stable income. My work benefits cover BD and SS.

I'm responsible for the grocery shopping and keeping the housework up. SS does his own laundry.

Here is my current challenge - SS is not working, simply living on his computer, xbox or PS3. I would like to see him 'grow up' and learn about the responsibilities adults have. I would like him to get a job.

BM does not want this - she would have to claim the income he makes on her taxes and it could affect her rent in her subsidized housing. Plus, having an independent child means she us unable to control them.

BD goes between wanting to protect SS from any challenges he may have with BM, and cutting SS slack (makes excuses) for why SS may not be motivated.

BD's depression has resulted in me having to step up and take responsibility for most holidays and even getting SS what was required for his Grad. BM was too broke to pay a penny but somehow saved up a bundle (at least a grand) to buy SS special grad gifts.

Seriously, what gives? :?

This kid is smart and he plays parents against each other. It kills me to watch SS sit on his ass all day. I worked since I was old enough to do so! It kills me to not be able to work right now.

What do I do? Help this kid grow up or stand back and let, in my opinion, both his parents not deal with anything?

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm the only step-mom that I know so I was grateful to find this forum.

Also - what do I call the SS's sister? She was basically raised by my BF and he considers her his daughter. She's not my SD - but she acts just like I'm the wicked stepmonster (Great book!).