I greet my teenage SDs, when they come here EOW, but apart from that, I interact with them very little. Just necessary civilities around meal time etc - but I don't start conversations with them, nor do I deal with discipline or any other issues - I refer it all to DH.
If this girl is 21, then surely she must be nearly done with college, and will not be coming to your house for holidays? If it is just the odd weekend visit, then I would find it relatively easy to deal with in disengaged mode. If there is a danger she is planning to move in with you when college ends, then I would have the conversation with DH sooner rather than later - ie you are not prepared for this to happen. I have made it clear to my DH that I cannot live with his daughters full time - and that if he moved one of them in with us, I would have to move out.
I have been thinking about that I have 3skids 2 are almost finished with college. If they move in, I am moving out. I think my DH knows this because of the way I act when they come to visit.
I not only disengaged from my SD, I banned her from our home. The condition for her return is that DG has to inform her - in my presence - that she is to respect me in my home. It's non-negotiable. This is the second time I've banned SD from my home. The first time DH assured me she would be on her best behavior. That didn't last long. She became nastier than ever especially when Daddy was not nearby.
IF I ever allowed her in my home again, I would be nice to her - if she was nice to me but when she started spouting off her insults or treated me like I was invisible, I would return the sentiment immediately. If she complained to Daddy, I'd deny it just like she did for years, "She must be imagining things again." I would not cook or clean or do anything for her. If she left her mess I would let it sit until DH cleaned it up. If DH took her side he would be looking for a motel for the night.
Thank you, she is 21y/o home
Thank you, she is 21y/o home from college my Dh and I have been married for 12yrs her goal is to break up are marriage.
I greet my teenage SDs, when
I greet my teenage SDs, when they come here EOW, but apart from that, I interact with them very little. Just necessary civilities around meal time etc - but I don't start conversations with them, nor do I deal with discipline or any other issues - I refer it all to DH.
If this girl is 21, then surely she must be nearly done with college, and will not be coming to your house for holidays? If it is just the odd weekend visit, then I would find it relatively easy to deal with in disengaged mode. If there is a danger she is planning to move in with you when college ends, then I would have the conversation with DH sooner rather than later - ie you are not prepared for this to happen. I have made it clear to my DH that I cannot live with his daughters full time - and that if he moved one of them in with us, I would have to move out.
I have been thinking about
I have been thinking about that I have 3skids 2 are almost finished with college. If they move in, I am moving out. I think my DH knows this because of the way I act when they come to visit.
Thank you so much for your reply
I not only disengaged from my
I not only disengaged from my SD, I banned her from our home. The condition for her return is that DG has to inform her - in my presence - that she is to respect me in my home. It's non-negotiable. This is the second time I've banned SD from my home. The first time DH assured me she would be on her best behavior. That didn't last long. She became nastier than ever especially when Daddy was not nearby.
IF I ever allowed her in my home again, I would be nice to her - if she was nice to me but when she started spouting off her insults or treated me like I was invisible, I would return the sentiment immediately. If she complained to Daddy, I'd deny it just like she did for years, "She must be imagining things again." I would not cook or clean or do anything for her. If she left her mess I would let it sit until DH cleaned it up. If DH took her side he would be looking for a motel for the night.