Relief!
I can't tell you how relieved I am to discover that this site exists.
I'm not sure if I technically count as a step-parent as I'm not married, but we live together so I think I might...
I have two skids, boys aged 5 and 6. BF has them every weekend at the mo, alternate weekends from September onwards and I am finding it HORRIFIC! Most Sunday evenings I've baracaded myself in our bedroom in tears hiding from them because I can't take one more second of whining and screaming and fighting, and I've been feeling so guilty about it.
For some reason I had convinced myself that everyone else in this sort of situation is handling it much better and love their skids and enjoy spending every second with them like some kind of Stepford Stepparent.
So finding other people who find it hard, and don't necessarily enjoy it all the time really is a relief. It's like someone has just tapped me on the shoulder and said 'don't worry, you're not a dreadful person, this is pretty normal.'
Thank you everyone for being so honest!!
- PolkaDotHedghog's blog
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Comments
It really does. I'm in my
It really does. I'm in my early twenties and I don't have any friends with kids/skids so it's great to have found some people who get it
You qualify
You qualify
Join the club! It really
Join the club! It really sucks and you are very normal!
Yes, we all remember that day
Yes, we all remember that day when we found out there were others feeling like us and sometimes even worse...and yes, you qualify
PS - the craziness I have found is directly related to the parenting of the father in our home...the more the father's parenting and ours are aligned, the easier it is...the less aligned the parenting of the father is with ours, the worse it gets...
My best and worst moment is
My best and worst moment is when I told my SO exactly how I felt. I didn't want to be included in family adventures. I didn't want to eat breakfast, lunch or supper with them. I didn't want anything to do with them. It was my worst moment because it obviously hurt him. As much as we think we should all come together as a big happy family and there is something wrong with us if we can't do that... Our BF/SO/Husbands are pretty much thinking the same thing. They are expecting a big happy family! Their kids are the greatest and they can't do any wrong! It took a lot of utter honesty and explaining how I felt and even mentioning this website so he could read other peoples blogs for him to understand how I felt.
It was also my best moment because from then on, things have been much easier. I'm not around them barely at all anymore. There are no hard feelings. I'm not mean or rude to them... I'm just not around! My SO and I plan together that if I'm not at work, they aren't in the house and so on! The kids don't know that I'm purposely staying away and it works out great!! I've completly disengaged and wouldn't want it any other way. He is the parent as they are his kids and his responsibility. I may have an extra special guy because he understands that and doesn't ask anything of me in the form of babysitting them or buying them anything. This took us 2 years to get to though. In the beginning he thought nothing of asking me to watch his kids if his weekend of work and having his kids collided. He thought it was perfectly fine that if I was to go grocery shopping that I should get (and pay for) all the groceries for his kids. We've had lots of fights on the way ... some serious... some easily resolved. Just depends on how bad you both want it to work and how happy you both want to be in the meantime!!
Good luck!!
You do have an extra special
You do have an extra special guy ^^^
Don't forget the part where
Don't forget the part where it says it took us 2 years for us to get where we are!! And it's not super great the way it is.... but it is a work in progress!!!
Im thinking if I start now,
Im thinking if I start now, then if Im not in a straight jacket in 2 years, I may be able to get SO there