How do I difuse a temper tantrum???
SS almost 7 has temper tantrums that sometimes come out of nowhere..they last for almost an hour, he will go upstairs..cry loudly so that everyone can hear him...take breaks then start again..jump on his bed so that it bangs into the neighbor's wall..shout whatever it is he wants EXP: but i wanna go outside or i wanna some chips over and over and OVER literally..or if he is down stairs he will fall to the floor, kick his feet and act as if he physically cant get up when you tell him too. Some days i put up with it better and try to talk to him and find out why he is doing this especially like today...which was a good day so far...he refuses to answer or try to tell me what is wrong. My BS 9 (autistic) shockingly never has thrown tantrums. The baby 1 has started to throw little ones but they difuse within a min ...does anyone elses kids do this???? if so how do you make them stop (beyond ignoring it and trying to talk to them) thanks
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Ignore him. Leave the room,
Ignore him. Leave the room, do not look at him. Give him no attention at all unless he is going to serious hurt himself or others. Once he sees that no one is paying attention that may help
I agree with the above.
I agree with the above. Ignore him do not try to talk to him. Once he is done with the tantrum is he ever then disciplined for the tantrum? For example...no tv for 1 hour because of how you acted or no ice cream for today or whatever it is that he enjoys but tell him it is because he acted that way.
DH changed jobs andnow works
DH changed jobs andnow works from 6:30 am till 7pm..before that he was attending college at night and didn't come home until 11pm..that went on for almost 3 yrs..so he is acceptably asent but it doesn't make it any easier on me...oh and he works every other wknd
This is the child who gets
This is the child who gets beaten with a belt, right?
Is it possible that he is learning out of control behavior in the household? Yelling, screaming, angry fits?
he rarely gets the belt...but
he rarely gets the belt...but sadly he was acting this way long before the belt got introduced. The youngest is a baby and the oldest is super mellow..im mellow "normally" but these days im high strung because im so tired of dealing with ss...dh is usually so mellow i think he is sedated. I don't think he's learing it from us. This wknd was horrible. I tried to vent to dh and he basically told me he doesnt like hearing bad stuff about ss all the time and now he blocks me out when im talking about ss so he wont get mad. I then proceeded to tell him how rotten his child was and how he is ruining our marriage...began tearing up and stormed up stairs
and took a sleeping pill so i wouldnt have to see dh again that night until i cooled off- also the kids were in bed..we dont let ss hear these things..even if i cant stand him i dont think he needs to hear our arguments. DH really pissed me off last night 
"I then proceeded to tell him
"I then proceeded to tell him how rotten his child was and how he is ruining our marriage..."
Hmmm. Two things here. One, whenever you "attack" someone's child (how rotten he is) you will automatically put the parent on the defensive. Then they either shut down or fight back, and nothing is accomplished. So, try to find another way to communicate what you want. Two, SS isn't ruining your marriage. He's a kid and doesn't hold that kind of power in your relationship. You and DH not communicating and resolving issues in your household is what's ruining your marriage.
I'm sorry you had such a shitty night. I hope you guys are able to navigate a better way.
Someone - BM? - Is giving
Someone - BM? - Is giving into this or he wouldn't bother
BM walks on water in SS
BM walks on water in SS eye's...no idea why..she is never around, does nothing but break promises to him, and never comes and gets him on her scheduled visitations, and when she does she cuts it super short. I at least do stuff for ss, buy him things, and spend time with him, but get treated like cruela deville- funny how that works
Ignore the tantrums and add
Ignore the tantrums and add consequences to his decisions.
A) jumping on bed and disturbing neighbors. Loose big boy bed- put mattress on floor
C) he stays behind if you go out.
Never cave or show attention
good point about the bed
good point about the bed thing. I wanted to put the matress on the floor but dh thought it would get ruined faster. Everyone tells me to ignore him but that makes him get louder like " oh your gonna listen to me"! That's true, I should give him a 2 yr olds treatment if he is going to act that way
OH MY GAWD. This kid is my
OH MY GAWD. This kid is my 38 year old ss in 27 years...SICKENING.
I know, its like you want
I know, its like you want them to grow out of it but you dont want to continue to be tortured and put up with the bull until the kid is 18 and out the door. What about OUR feelings. I know its not fair to make a DH choose between the wife or their kid but it sometimes feels like there is no other way. I'll tell you what, sometimes they dont outgrow it. My DH grew up in a blended family. His stepbrother was just like my SS..behavior problems, violent, a bully, and tore the family apart. At 15 finally his parents said BYE go live with your mom...after 2 yrs his BM couldnt control him and sent him back...he is now 35 has a felony prison record, disowned his stepmom (Dh's mom) claims his parents neverdid anything for him..sells drugs..can't get a real job etc. This is SS in 28yrs, even DH agrees. Its so sad. So yes unfortunatley sometimes they dont outgrow it
By ignoring him during his
By ignoring him during his tantrums he is bound to get louder and maybe more out of control at first, because he is not getting what he wants and he most likely thinks if he gets louder you will respond to him. So initially it will get worse before it gets better. Like mentioned above, simply stat you will help him with his problem but you can't as long as he is screaming etc and walk away. Maybe buys some really good earplugs or an Ipod and pop it in your ears while he is having a tantrum until he quiets down, then go and talk to him, but only when he is calm