The note
So last night ss10 goes to dinner and grocery shopping with us while sd13 goes with a friend and the friends mother to the mall. It was very pleasant. We come home, and due to a shortage of school paper last year, and a huge ass scene at the store with sd13, I decided to get her 3 packs early. I go into her room to put the on her desk, and front and center for me to find is a "journal entry" on a piece of notebook paper. In this she talks about how her bm and Dh just keep pushing her further and further away because they dont "listen".
(side note, how much more damn listening does she need? She has a psychilolgist, counselor, her reg doctor, and contrary to her belief her daddy). Anyway, it went in to say she will have to "set my master plan in motion" soon. And that she just wanted someone to love her, and bm and Dh don't understand she is not too young to understand love. She describe the vacation (see other blog) and that she made out, including heavy petting, with a guy she had just met, and only knew three days total, but she lives him and is devastated he broke up with her at the end of vacation, major attatvhment issues.
There was more, but... Fuck it, the kid is not better, doesnt want to get better, and any amount of hugging, kissing, I love use or punishment won't change her. The counselor to Dh she has a hole in her heart and she is trying to fill it with me. I am supposed to be a major influence on her life. HA!! She has burned me do many times when I have tried to love her I have put a wall up, she doesn't care about me unless she wants something. She is nuts, narcissistic and hateful. I don't want the job of filling her hole. Im over her. I'm nice, probably more than nice, but guarded.
Dh and I were talking about the note last night and he said he was worried this was going to run me off, I told him I'm not going anywhere, but I'm extremely frustrated, watching him be down, getting manipulated and having a nuts 13 year old be mean to me, work, the struggle for forgiveness of ss10 after he was an ass at our wedding...the list goes on. I told him that when sd13 acts out, he gets depressed, and I feel like he forgets that we have a wonderful happy marriage, a great place to live, a wonderful family, great pets, jobs, two cars for transportation...we are extremely blessed. But when sd13 pulls get psych crap, nothing else matters. I on the other ha d try to focus on all those good things to get through.
I guess I'm just venting, Dh said I should be grateful I'm not mentioned in the note. I said you don't get it, I'm not mentioned because she doesn't care enough to hate me!! He told me I was I over reacting, taking it too seriously. I said mark my words, she is going down the lath to end up pregnant, drunk up, and drugged up, she has to change it, but she won't because she is beyond selfish and wants to do what she wants to do.
Anyone know where I can get a chastity belt??? 
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def understand what u r going
def understand what u r going though!!! I feel the same. One night after we allowed SD(19yrs old) to go for the late movie with her current bf she didnt come home or anwser her phone(which DH&I pay for), I was so MAD i found the boys house and there they were, I made him wake his parents just to embarass the crap outta him and u know what that lil "ungrateful brat" said to me in the vehicle while i was fussing??? SHe "allowed me to act like her mother fuss at her like her mother" wow u shoulda saw DHs face... i think its the first time i ever saw him flinch... that was a bad night but showed me how she really felt even thou i was doing all i could for her... he actually said he was worried that i would leave him as well and Honestly i have thought about it!!!
Let me know if u do find a chasity belt... i was thinking about a magic pill that would lower DS hormone level
Lol, I'll look into a pill.
Lol, I'll look into a pill. I made the mistake of suggesting we take sd13 for the depo shot but tell her it's allergy shots (she has asthma and bad allergies so it could be believable). Dh doesn't want to lie to her, I said why, she lies to us ALL the time. I have had that moment where I realized sd was only playing games with me, that I was just another person to use. Thats when I built my wall, brick by brick. I never said anything, though once in a while. Will still mention how xyz behavior still hurts e, but I get vindicated as soon as I realize she doesn't care and she won't change. Bm is a bitch, but cannot be blamed entirely. Sd feels oppressed!! Poor poor kid can't make decisions for the family, so she thinks she is a slave. She came home for the vacation from hell talking about wanting a job (she wants to earn money to run away and see this idiot rom vacation because she llloooovvveeesss him, ha, he dumped her as soon as he realized he was only going to get to kiss and feel her up). We told her if you can keep your grades great, do chore, not just your room and bathroom, but help out with the house, and your behavior is responsible and respectful (ie. not psychotic), we will then begin to discuss the possibility. In actuality I would not let her around any younger children alone, she is so nutty, they would suspiciously get hurt or die!! Not going to appen.
I would never eave my dh, he s my heart, truly my best friend he a wonderful husband. It's not us fault either that sd is nuts. And he has been a wonderful dad to both his kids, especially dring sd's psychotic momens. I ave lst it more than once on her, dh has been fantastic!! I'm g,ad I'm not alone, and I'm glad I have the great people here to let everything out to. And you guys understand!!
Take the note to the next
Take the note to the next psych. meeting. If she left it in plain sight, she wanted you to find it, which means that she wants you to react to it. If she isnt already on birth control, I would get her on it ASAP (something that isnt in her control, like a shot or IUD). I would immediately get her screened for STDs. I would buy a movie which very graphically shows childbirth (preferably a very hard delivery and one where the woman poops during delivery), and the after effects (hemoroids, stretch marks, incontinence, depression) and make her watch it with me. I might even go so far as to get one of those "baby simulator" dolls and force her to care for it for a week. And if I were you, I wouldnt let that kid out of my sight.
hahahahaha love this. ^
hahahahaha love this. ^
I think every menstruating teenage girl should be on the birth control shots. I will do it if I ever have a girl. I wish there were one for boys! And I will also do things similar to the above suggestion... Along with showing her and DS extremely graphic pictures of STD's.
DH and i have a 5 year old
DH and i have a 5 year old daughter in addition to ss8. My mother and father, bless their hearts, watched ss8 and dd5 for us for two nights so that we could celebrate our anniversary a few months ago. While we were gone, according to my mom, dd5 asked her repeatedly where babies come from and how they get out of the mommy's tummy. Now,my mother is a veteran at children - so far be it from me to question her tactics here, but dear lord my mother, bless her heart, found a discovery channel on demand documentary about child birth and watched it with both my children. they, quote, sat in rapt fascination the entire hour and fifteen minutes, end quote :jawdrop: . dd5 is still convinced that "special daddy magic" puts babies in mommy's tummies, but she now knows exactly how they get out, and has since informed me that it does not look like fun. If dd5 were to go baby crazy in her teens, i swear before god that the plan of action above is EXACTLY what i would do.
I wish I had the right of
I wish I had the right of medical consent....dh is so blind. He wouldn't go for half of that, but I love the plan. Dh asked sd about the note while we were at the store and her response was "you went through my room". I wanted to say, you have no room or belongings, we allow you to occupy space in our home, but at 13 you have not right to property. I will go through whatever I like when I am paying rent and you aren't. The counselor told us to, and it will be done. I didn't say this though. Instead I said young eft it out on the desk, and when I went to put the truly gracious gesture of notebook paper in your room, it was front and center. Her response, "nu uh". I walked away. Little psycho bitch!!