Well, I still don't expect the visit to happen because I don't expect GUBM to do her fair share of work in getting SD out here because she's a lazy tool. BUT if SD DOES come to visit, my expectations are very, very low for how it is going to be around here.

SO and I are hurting a bit for money as of late because we had to shell out money for SD's camp, her plane ticket, and pay a giant gas bill. This is the problem with SO waiting until the last minute to do everything. Had he signed her up earlier and started paying for it then, we could have broken up the payments. He also could have asked the gas company to break our giant bill into more manageable payments, they don't care as long as they get their money. When we were discussing the finances, SO told me that he should have never agreed to pay for this camp for SD because it was just way beyond our means (nothing new to me) because he had found two other camps she could have gone to for less money (THIS was new). He claims that he did find more affordable camps that she would have enjoyed. Although part of me is mildly glad he never shared this info with me before because one of them is near where I work and I just KNOW I would have been the one having to drop her off or pick her up. His reasoning for agreeing to the camp? Because he just wanted to make us happy, even if it meant him having to make sacrifices. Excuse me?

SO told me that he wanted to just make me happy by sending her to this camp because he figured I thought it was the best camp for her. Well, yes, it's a great camp, but, I also told him when first discussing it that it was out of our price range and that, if we couldn't do it, we would have to find another camp that we could afford and then could send her to this camp next year if we could get scholarships for it. I also stupidly figured then that we could pay for the camp gradually until June 1st as we had a month and a half to break up the large payment. Now I know better than to expect SO to do anything he says when he says he's going to do it. I should have known better before, too, because there are two dents in my car that have never been fixed, and they are only there because of SO and his "i'll do what I want" attitude. And who stopped looking for camps after that convo? SO. His child, his responsibility to find her a camp. NOT MINE. He also said he just wanted to make SD happy while she was here and make sure she had everything she could possibly want, no matter the burden he had to shoulder. *brakes screeching to a halt*. Oh. Oh hell NO!

I told him flat out that I now have very little hope of her visit being what he said it would be - focusing on our partnership, fitting her into OUR life and not revolving around her. If he's already bending over backwards to go above and beyond for SD before she's even out here, what hope do I have of him sticking to his guns when she's actually here??? I told him that he's got to get off of the guilty-daddy kick. He really does. If he needs to go talk to someone to get over it, he needs to go talk to someone, but it has to end because it has been the bane of our relationship since we started dating. GUBM has caused her fair share of issues, no doubt, but, the majority of the problems have all stemmed from his guilt. I know it is easier said by an outsider that the guilt should be eschewed and that he should now focus on what is BEST for his daughter's development rather than on what would make her like him more, but, really? It has to stop :/

And, I'm sorry, but HE'S the one making sacrifices? No, buddy, I don't think so. You're not the only one who lives off of the money in our joint account. I live off of it, too. So therefore WE are making sacrifices to cater to your little Princess Pants daughter.

UGH. I can't believe this bull is ALREADY starting! When discussing how we're going to rebound from the financial hit, I told him that we need to be frugal and stick to a restricted grocery budget for the time being and while she's here. He said "well, we'll be OK by the time she visits, so, we'll just restrict our budget until then." Uhm, no. I know exactly why he's saying this, because he wants to make sure she's "happy" and gets what she wants, no matter what. Meaning, he wants to be free to buy her expensive ass fake chicken and fake burgers when she's here. I get that SD is a vegetarian, but, we can't afford to ply her with fake meat products just because she's a picky-ass eater. I made a little suggestion about how we could always make some mushroom based veggie burgers that even SO, someone who loathes mushrooms, enjoyed and ate happily. "No, no way, she hates mushrooms and I am not forcing her to eat something she hates." Funny, because from what I know, she's barely tried mushrooms and, everytime you have ever made her try them, she makes grossed out faces and gagging noises and puts on a huge dramatic show because she wants you to feel guilty over making her do something she doesn't want to do. Either way, I told him that he needs to find creative and cheap ways to feed his child, and, if she doesn't like what we provide for her? Well, then, she's going to be making herself a LOT of PB&J for dinner. We are not going to spend the end of our summer broke. I just can't believe he is not noticing the trend of being broke around SD's visits...helloooooo, SO...you're turning into a guilty-daddy and trying to spend your way into SD's heart. KNOCK IT THE FRICK OFF!

I also told him that I have no problem finding someone else to stay with while she's here if he turns into the Disney Dad that bends over backwards and caters to SD's every little whim if she does, in fact, come out for a visit, because I am not going to subject myself to that train wreck. I know I shouldn't have to remove myself from my home, but, honestly? What else can I do? I don't want to witness any of that bull because I know I won't be able to keep my mouth shut for long. I know it is easier for him to say one thing when she's not here than to follow through on it when she is here, but he really has to stick to what he's saying to me. If he tells me that he wants to be a better parent, that he wants to stop parenting out of guilt, that he wants to put our relationship first and fit her into our lives rather than let our lives revolve around her, then he needs to do that when she's around. I'm tired of the game of SO telling me one thing and doing a complete other with SD. It's disingenuous. And the day manipulation starts seeping back into our relationship is the day it ends.