Everything came to a head today and I really don't know what's going to happen from here on out, because, SD has been disrespectful and has done nothing by lie all day long.

She has done nothing but lie to me and SO all day long. Basically, SD stayed up until 1:00AM texting with someone, deleted the text messages from her phone and lied to both of us about it. Then, she lied to SO about the things she does on her laptop. Then, she continued to lie about who she is text messaging on her phone and who she has been text messaging today and, when all was said and done, she apologized to SO for lying to him so consistently today, but, she never even thought to apologize to me.

SO really stepped up to the plate. He sent her to bed right after dinner because he was most upset over the fact that she saw no need to apologize for lying to me. He told her he could deal with the occasional lying, but, that he could not deal with her disrespecting his partner. (yay, SO!!! *throws confetti*). I'm impressed to say the least. He's really sticking to his guns on this one and not letting her fall short of the expectation that she treats me with just as much respect as she treats SO.

But, it got bad here tonight. The tension was palpable. SD ate dinner at the dining room table, SO and I ate in the living room. He told me to not even bother talking to or engaging her at all from here on out because he didn't feel that I should be subjected to her poor treatment. Be still my heart. I told him not to worry because I was only planning on talking to or acknowledging her if she did so first and did so politely. If she snarks at me or refuses to acknowledge me, I will pretend she does not exist. It sucks, but, it is what has to be done.

SO had a talk with her and she basically told him that she has a problem with me. That she just wants to feel welcome and doesn't feel welcome here because of me. That every day with me is one lecture after another (more on this in a minute). That I've done nothing to make her feel welcome and that she just wants to do whatever she wants and be done with it. She blames me for her dad having expectations and rules for her. SO cleared that one up with her as best as he could. He told her that the rules and expectations have nothing to do with me and that they are all him. She didn't really believe him.

Now SD has put SO in a really awkward predicament. He's considering sending her home early because she was sobbing her eyes out telling him that she does not like me. And he knows that at least half of her dislike of me comes from GUBM because she has SD convinced that SO has changed so much since I started dating him. And, GUBM has zero expectations of SD when she is at home other than to do her homework, eat her dinner, keep her room clean, and get up on time for school.

I feel betrayed and like I've been punched in the gut. I have put myself out there quite consistently this week with SD. Yes, I was withdrawn last weekend because she was a troll to me on Friday night, but, this week, I've been pretty good about trying to connect with her. She's been completely resistant until Friday night. And I thought things were going really well yesterday, too. I thought we were connecting. I thought she was being receptive to connecting with me, but, I guess I was wrong. I guess SO was wrong about how this visit would go, too. We knew that SD reacting negatively to the change in the way things were here would be possible - because she is not the center of the universe and has to fit herself into our lives rather than us trying to cater to her every whim.

SO told me all of what she told him in their conversation and he and I agreed that what she was saying was that she is having a hard go of it here because we aren't letting her do whatever she wants and kissing her ass telling her how awesome she is all the time. Spoiled brat syndrome. The lecturing? She blames me for her father having any sort of expectation for her. She blames me for the fact that her father wants her to act like a decent human being and be productive and contributory member of our household and society. She blames me for the fact that our little planet no longer rotates around the gravitational pull of SD.

SD is stuck on this notion of only telling SO what he wants to hear rather than being an honest human being. SD is stuck on secretly hating me for bullshit reasons rather than honestly opening up about it with us so we can have an opportunity to fix or address any of it with her. SO and I both recognize and acknowledge that SD's problems are her own, but, she's throwing them at me trying to alleviate herself of the burden of responsibility.

So, I'm done trying to connect with this child. Fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice and it will be shame on me. I'm completely disengaging from her and I'm glad that SO is on board with me about doing so. He said that I don't deserve to be thrust into the middle like this and that I don't deserve to be the target. He recognizes that part of this is because of the way GUBM has raised SD and the way GUBM has filled SD's head with bullshit lies through her parental alienation. He's been very apologetic over the way SD has been treating me this entire relationship. That he is only now realizing the extent to which SD treated me like crap when we used to live in NJ and that he cannot apologize enough. I told him that apologies for then is not necessary, but, that, I do appreciate it. What's done is done and it is time to focus on the present.

What really sucks is that SO has no idea what to do now. He's considering taking SD home because he really can't imagine having three more weeks of this. SD is all fine and dandy with things during the week while she's going to camp because the majority of the day is all about her. When she wakes up it is all about getting her to camp, being at camp is all about her, coming home from camp is all about her because we both try to engage her and ask how camp was. But, unfortunately, I'm the one who is around on the weekends. And guess when all the drama happens? So it is either completely halt our lives and cater to SD's little whims - by this I mean no longer leaving her home alone when we go to counseling, no longer having our date nights, SO taking every weekend off so he can be here with SD instead of me, and bending over backwards to make her life the way SHE wants it and making it all about her - which is not anything SO wants to do, or, send her home early.

This really sucks, but, GUBM's claws are in far too deep it seems and SD's over-inflated sense of self is way out of control. I just hope that this doesn't end up wrecking things between myself and SO. I have a small fear of that, but, I know it is a bit ridiculous because SO has told me consistently tonight that these issues are SD's and that she has a lot of work to do to fix them and needs a lot of help fixing them. I just wish it didn't come down to this.

ETA: Well, any fear I had that this might wreck things between SO and I has been assuaged. We both talked and he told me that he is not going to let his crazy ex and his spoiled lying troll of a daughter wreck what he wants in life.

I still wish it didn't have to all transpire the way it did today. :/