SO talked to SD yesterday.

According to SD, it was her own idea to homeschool, not GUBM's. SO doesn't know whether to believe her. If it was her idea, she threw GUBM under the bus last week when she said that GUBM was considering homeschooling - which was her way of testing the water with SO, but, still, day late and a dollar short snotface, since you'd already been unenrolled since the beginning of the month. If it wasn't her idea, she's martyring herself for GUBM right now. Either way, she's being an asshole. They both are. Because if this really was SD's idea, wtf is wrong with GUBM (rhetorical question, I already know the answer to this). Really? You let a 13 year old decide these kinds of things for herself? Dumbass. If it wasn't SD's idea, then GUBM is a POS for having SD martyr herself to take some of the heat off of herself, like, what, she thinks SO won't get pissed at SD?? Again, dumbass. So, congratulations, GUBM, you're feeding the monster and making it worse. I hope they enjoy their lazy, fucked up, lame lives together.

SO told SD that she's not allowed to come here this summer. He told her that since he can no longer trust a single thing that she says that he cannot trust her to be here alone in the apartment while SO and I go to work and do whatever else we normally do sans SD. Between the endless lying this summer - with no remorse - and the endless lying this past month - also with no remorse - he doesn't want her here for the summer because we won't be able to live our lives as normal. Neither one of us will be amending our work schedules to make sure she's supervised all the time and we sure as hell are NOT paying to send her to some fancy ass summer camp so she can be supervised while we're at work.

SD claims that they found a wonderful homeschool group for her to go to, but, he told her that he doesn't care to hear about it because he can't believe her and has no way of verifying whether what she's saying is the truth or more lies. For all he knows, she's sitting home all day playing video games, he can't trust that she's actually being proactive about her education. Her past behavior - procrastination to the extreme as it related to school or anything else she doesn't want to do plus lying constantly - does not lend to him believing her now.

He also laid the reality of homeschooling in NJ out for her - because I did some research into NJ Homeschool regulations for him. First, should SD ever decide she wants to go back to regular school, or, should GUBM decide to send her back, or, if hell freezes over and SD moves out here and goes back to school, she will have to sit for a test in order to see what grade level she is at. They will test her for the grade level she would technically be at had she never left school, but, they could recommend she take all remedial classes at the grade level she would be at, or, that she go back to the grade she was in when she left school.

Then, there's the fact that she won't be getting a state issued high school diploma from this nonsense if it goes on that long, or a gpa to put on college applications should she decide to go to college. In order to get a regular high school diploma, she has to have all of her credit hours meticulously documented to prove that she earned the adequate number of credits (never going to happen) and she will have to sit for the HSPA test in her school district to show that she has learned what she needed to learn in order to get a degree.

If she can't do that, she has to get her GED, so she would have to sit for that test, and, if she doesn't do well, she will have to enroll herself into GED courses in order to prep to take the test. In order to get into college, she will have to sit for the SATs (or ACTs), have a diploma, submit a portfolio of her work over the course of her homeschooling, and her meticulous records of how she has been obtaining her credits (once she hits the "high school" level). Or, get her GED. She cried upon hearing all of this- to which I say good. She needs to understand what she has gotten herself into in all of this nonsense. This is why 13 year olds are not allowed to make life changing decisions. Of course, she could have just been crying because that's what she fricken does when she's in trouble. But, whatever. I have no doubt that GUBM and SD are going to screw up her education by doing this.

SD apparently apologized to SO for lying, but, he told her that apologizing isn't going to fix everything and make it all better, nor will it fix the fact that he can't trust a single thing she says anymore. She had every opportunity these past three weeks, and before, to tell SO that she was planning on, or even just interested in, doing this. She had every opportunity to tell SO that she was truly that miserable at home and he would have fought for her. All those times that he reached out to her and asked her how things were, telling her that he wants to know if things are getting better, she could have said "Dad, no, they're not getting better. It's getting worse" instead of just "meh" all the time. But, she chose to lie to him and deceive him. In a grandiose fashion, by telling him stories, making up "friends", and feeding him delusions. He told her that both she and GUBM messed up big time in all of this. He never badmouths GUBM to SD, but, he broke that rule just this once. He said that GUBM messed up big time by letting SD do all of this and that SD messed up by not coming to him in the first place. Because he could have helped. But now? Now he has no way to help unless he gets a lawyer and the courts involved (this part he did not share with her).

He wrapped up by telling her that he loves her and that he will always love her, but, that his trust in her has been broken. He said that he will always be there for her if she needs someone to talk to, that he won't ignore her phone calls and text messages if she wants to talk to him, but, that she has to start acting like he's her father and not just some source of money.

His next planned step is to call a lawyer on Monday. He's going to find out what his options are and what would be in his best interest as far as calling child services as that's the only way to check on whether or not SD is actually getting the education she needs. Then, he's going to ask about what his options are as far as SD's best interests are concerned. So, he's got plan after plan, now, he just has to keep up with the follow-through.

I just want to take a moment here to say that I'm not poo-pooing all over homeschooling. When done right, it can be beneficial for students who do not fit into the traditional academic learning environment of public school. But, I have no hope of GUBM and SD doing this right, because they don't do anything right. And, if they were doing it right, why the hell would they lie to SO all this time and not lay it out and make the case for why homeschooling would be best for SD? I mean, hello, we were looking into alternative schools out here for SD if she planned to move out here, we weren't going to send her to a regular public school. So, yea, no hope that they're doing it the right way.