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To Go Or Not To Go?

stepmom1989's picture

Submitted by stepmom1989 on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 2:50pm

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Blended Family Issues

So my oldest SD's birthday is tomorrow, she will be turning 7. BM texted me and told me her birthday party is a 630 tomorrow night at her house. We already had plans to take her to the zoo with her sisters, this coming weekend when we have them. We wont even be able to get her a present till Friday. So we would be showing up, without anything if we went. Do you think calling her and wishing her a Happy Birthday telling her we love her and we have a great weekend planned just for her would be a good idea, instead of going?

Its not just that we don't have a present to give her tomorrow, but we also HATE BM parents! BM's father has threatened DH several times in the past, yet not even 6 months ago the last time (long story, I called the cops and reported him) He is a biker and THINKS he is such a badass! BM's mother is a b***h and as far as I am concerned, could drop dead tomorrow and I wouldn't shed a tear. Just being honest =)Lets just say, the apple don't fall far from the tree.

So even if we did show up for her birthday party, BM parents are so immature, they would start trouble and I just don't want that. So what to do, what to do??

YogaChick's picture

Submitted by YogaChick on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 2:59pm

There is no way in hell I would go to a party BM was throwing. Not even at a neutral place, but especially at her house! Call her and wish her a Happy Birthday then celebrate with her on your time. If she says anyting about it just tell her how lucky she is that she gets to have 2 parties.

dreadingit's picture

Submitted by dreadingit on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 3:34pm

We always have separate parties for the skids. I agree with YogaChick---no way in HELL would I go to her house for anything.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 3:50pm

I would definitely give SD a phone call on her birthday. But if the tension at her party is going to be very high, I think it'd be better if you and DH did something nice for her the next time you have her. She deserves to have a peaceful party without any tension. Even if you and DH went, and there were no fights, she would very easily pick up on the tension between many of the adults. She doesn't deserve that.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:18pm

Never go to a party that BM is hosting. Do your own thing and don't make apologies for it. I am all for a call on the day and celebrate when you have the kid. That is what we do and it works great.