Am I wrong?
My 28 year old step son is finally out on his own... mostly. We recently helped him get into his own apartment which has perfectly good laundry facilities but for some reason he still comes over to our house to do his laundry. I mentioned my concern only to his Dad, as to not cause trouble or hard feelings with him, and his Dad seems to feel that it's ok for him to do his laundry here. He has bought his own laundry detergent, which is good. I believe the facilities at his apartment may be $2 to wash, $2 to dry, so a load a week would only cost him $4, maybe $8 every other week to do a load of towels. Seems like more of an inconvenience for him to lug his clothes to our house when he can just do them at his own place. I don't think it's an excuse to come over & hang out because he can do that without bringing his clothes.
This is someone who has been spoiled terribly by his grandmother (and she still does) and he has also in the past had a drug problem but thankfully that is over, but is one of the reasons why he has had such a slow start at getting out on his own.
I'm very proud of him for keeping a steady job and being able to support himself in his new place, but feel in order for him to be totally independent, he should be doing his laundry at his own place. Is this a mean way of thinking? Should I just let it be? I feel now, I have to let it be, because his father does not agree with me..... Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! 
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I used to take my laundry to
I used to take my laundry to my parents after I moved out. Using public facilities creeped me out, required quarters which I never had and it gave me a chance to see my family. THis really isn't an "independence" issue. Its more a "i'd rather do it free and in a clean machine" issue. He's out, you're proud of him. Making a big deal about this will not make things better.
Yeah id be inclined to let
Yeah id be inclined to let this one go as well. Bit of laundry isnt a big deal. Least he's not living there anymore. A lot of people dont have that luxury lol
I just finally moved into a
I just finally moved into a place with a washer and dryer in the apartment. At the old apartment, they had laundry facilities, but I never went into them. Only a few buildings had them, and they were in the basement. It was not a good area, so I NEVER used them. I would lug my laundry to my cousins house and use her washer. She is actually quite sad that I won't be coming over every Saturday to hang out with her.
If he had a washer in his apartment that was free, I would say something. But it sounds like he has to go to the facility and pay, so I wouldn't say anything to him. He would rather do his laundry for free, that is all.
In addition to my reply to
In addition to my reply to all, I just wanted to personally thank you for your post because if I had not received your understanding, I would have really thought I was being horrible for my thoughts. I'm really a nice person but draw the line a bit (even if only in my thoughts) when I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I don't like to think of myself as a bitch... I know I"m not one, but am also not a pushover, but in this case to keep from hard feelings in my family, I will let this one go. Thanks for being there.
I am very thankful for all of
I am very thankful for all of the comments and opinions.... I'm glad to see at least one person who really understands how I feel. (Thanks hypovic) I know & respect that everyone has different opinions. But hypovic totally gets where I'm coming from. I don't have new appliances, so when one of them break down, I"m sure I won't be offered any money to help fix or replace them, and yes, I alone am paying the extra water and electricity & I feel I've already spent thousands on him throughout the years... I feel I've tried to help him in so many ways and he just continues to take in any way he can. For example, I put him on my phone bill so he would not have to pay extra to get his own, & then I get stuck paying a $300 phone bill (his part--the total was $500 for one of the months) and another time was another couple hundred dollars....out of my pocket, not his dads. Numerous other accounts and I'm just tired of it and feel now that he's on his own, he should be just that... on his own. And it does make me feel like I've been taken advantage of. I think some people who commented may have missed the fact that he is 28 years old!!! I'm not saying he should be going to a public laundrymat, but just to use his apartment facilities which are perfectly fine. I did it when I lived in an apartment and thought nothing of it, never crossed my mind to take my clothes over someone elses house to use theirs!!! How hard is it to ask for $4 in quarters when you are going to the convienent store for your ciggarettes? Even so... I am going to have to let it go because I don't want to cause troubles with him or my husband. I expressed my opinion to my husband, he doesn't agree and so I suppose it must end there. But I am glad I was able to vent a bit and get other people's opinions, nice to have a forum like this, so to you all... Thanks!