Easter Fun with BM's Family (a tad long, but actual fun)
WOW, what a weekend!
Easter was also SS7's (now SS8!) birthday this year. SO had him all last week, and the normal visitation switch is on Sunday. So, we celebrated his birthday all week long so he could enjoy the presents we got him with us before he had to go with BM. BM was out of state all week on vacation but had planned on having a family party for him Sunday evening. SO and I were cordially invited.
Then, mid-week, a surprise!
BM's parents decided to drive out to visit for SS8's birthday. BM also has two brothers in the area, so it turned into a nice family affair. Now, SO has known these folks for 15 years, and he's always been very close with both BM's parents and her brothers. Throughout the separation, they've all been very kind to SO and rather distant from BM - it's pretty clear that they disapprove of some of her choices in this. So it was only natural that the three of us were invited to dinner with the family at BM's brother's house on Friday, while BM was out of town. Cool, right?
So I went along to dinner, everyone was friendly, SS8 got to see his grandparents who he usually only gets to visit in the summer, and I got to meet some fantastic people. It was truly a good time. It was decided that Saturday we'd all go play minigolf and SS8 would get to go have some fun (and birthday shopping) with the grandparents.
However for me, after dinner, The Fear set in.
I started thinking about how pissed off I'd be if I was BM, and my soon-to-be ex-husband's girlfriend was hanging out with my family while I was out of town. Right now with the divorce not final, I've been as careful as I can to keep things friendly. The more I think about it, the more terrified I get that I'll make a misstep and trigger a PAS campaign. So this all boiled over at bedtime until I was a sobbing mess in SO's arms, telling him maybe it was best I just stay home so I didn't piss BM off. I cried out all the fears that have been clogging up my brain the past few months...
SO's response? "You're not hanging out with BM's family, you're hanging out with SS8's family. My family. And you're fast becoming part of it. You are welcome here. And SS8 is too smart to fall for any BM shenanigans - he knows how she is. Don't worry about BM. Nobody else does."
I love, love, love this man. He let me get it all out, listened, kissed, comforted. What a treasure.
So Saturday was fantastic, we all had a blast at minigolf, and then SO and I invited everyone over to the house for dinner. They took SS8 while we scrambled to hit the stores, came home and cleaned and I whipped up a homemade dinner for everyone. I love entertaining, so I used this as an excuse to have some fun (and break in the new oven with some tasty pies!). Everyone came and we had a great evening, dinner and dessert was a hit, compliments all around and SO got repeated high-fiving from BM's brother ("damn, dude, you upgraded..."). SS8 was joyful and giggling all night. Awesome!
Then on Easter Sunday came BM's birthday party at her house, where her boyfriend also lives (I call him Quantum Leap/QL since he looks like Sam Beckett). SO and I were both nervous about it - I hadn't been to her house before, and SO didn't want to have to deal with QL. BM was nice enough to me, though I did catch a few odd looks. QL slunk around not saying much to anyone. I stuck close to SO and chatted with the uncles and grandparents. SS8 had a great time showing off his presents and opening the rest of what the family got him. Dinner was served and it was all store bought everything, prepped by Uncle #1 as BM wandered around with her glass. Birthday cake was grocery store cheesecake (BM: "oh, look, you don't even have to cut it!"). What a spread, lol. There was just as much time as I had the day before to feed a gathering of ten. SO told me he was always the one to have to save (i.e. scrap and remake) dinner when they had gatherings like this. Well, now he doesn't have to! }:) So, we got through it, candles were blown out, went home, had a (well deserved!) stiff drink each and off to bed.
So, I feel pretty good right now. Maybe it's a tad conceited of me, but I feel like I won this weekend. And, most importantly, SS8 got to be with everyone that he loves on his birthday, and there was no drama to take away from it. Hooray!
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