The baby question
Having lives with Soon to be DH for over two years now I am well aware of the odd choices he made while raising SD7. She's pretty wild, and he doesn't set a lot of boundries for her. I"ve adopted a let them do what they will attitude and try to ignore her most of the time. She has no bad feelings toward me, and when I get after her about something she quickly gets back in line. Her father and I are getting married shortly, and we'd like to have children right away. I have let him know on several occasions that I will not allow my children to behave like she does. He agrees that she's a little crazy and welcomes help with future children. Has anyone done this sucessfully before? I know it will be difficult to keep one child in line while the other runs crazy. Any adivce?
That all depends on how out
That all depends on how out of control SD is, and how often she is with you.
My Dh follows my lead when it comes to BS, and he is being raised with much more structure and expectation than the skids. The skids are 6 and 7 years older than BS, so a lot of the differences in expectation s is masked by the age difference. The skids are in school all day, and once at the day care are kept seperate from the little kids. So during the week BS only really sees them two hours a day. On the weekend, I just keep them apart as much as possible, and if the skids can't act correctly, then they are removed from the activity and sent to their rooms.
If I go to the store, BS comes with me, and the skids stay home with Dh. BS doesn't eat at the big table with the skids, he eats at a toddler table in other room..... The skids table manners are atrocious.
It takes a lot of effort, but it can be done.
Good feedback! No
Good feedback! No bookishworm I don't have any kids of my own. I was raised with rules and boundries, and I expect to raise my own the same....but you're right, no child is good all the time! SD7 is really not with us all that much, although STBDH has full custody. She spends a lot of time with mom and grandparents who let her do whatever she wants! Dad then blames the behavior on the fact that she spent time away from home, and when I suggest that maybe she should spend more time at home, he agrees. But at the first opportunity she's gone again. I feel bad about it, and at the same time I don't, you know? She drives me crazy, so I'm ok with her being gone, but sending her off doesn't really give anyone a chance to get her back under control. When i think about her future, I picture a young adult, who does ridiculas things like shoplifting, or having sex, just to get her parent's attention. I'd like to include her, to an extent, in the "family". She is obviously a member, but i'd like her to be present more...even if it's just for her own sake, so we can try to tame her before we even think about a baby!