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Disfunction not allowed in public.......WTF?

stepwitch's picture

Anyone ever think about this: Go to a social event and see people and they act as if thier world is just perfect, perfect marriage, perfect children, perfect world, then few weeks later find out that the perfect marriage disolved because of the imperfect kids or whatever, lying, cheating, etc.

Why do people put up a front in public when thier world is actually falling apart around them? Is this just lying, shame, what? I don't understand, why put up a front?

Are we only allowed in this society to be disfunctional in private? I have seen alot of different family dynamics with the job that I have, I have decided that there is no such thing as normal, there are only levels of disfunction.

Austen's picture

Tear each other's hair out in public?

But seriously, in my first marriage I had no idea things had gone as bad as they had. So I suppose the fact that we were on the edge of divorce didn't come across to our families, who were stunned when it happened. I filed, but my ex's behavior made that unavoidable and I was as stunned as anybody to discover what he'd been up to.

My ex, who obviously was quite aware of the real situation, was quiet and introverted (read: CRAAZZZYYY) and never let on that a thing was amiss.

I think it's probably a matter of personal pride (or craziness).

Sita Tara's picture

I think public dysfunction has contributed a lot to the problem. Talk shows displaying extreme dysfunctional relationships seem to have led American culture to think it's ok to be dysfunctional because

A- everyone is
B-at least I'm not as bad as that white trash ho on Springer.

But it's also told kids that they have a sort of claim or right to be dysfunctional, then blame it on the inadequacies of the parents.

Just throwing that in there.
Peace, love, and red wine

ColorMeGone2's picture

I don't particularly want to witness other people airing their dirty laundry in public. When I go to the grocery store, for example, I want to pick out my peas and carrots in relative peace. I don't want to walk through the aisles listening to other people's meltdowns. When we dine out at a restaurant, I want to enjoy the meal and spend time with my family, not be entertained by the drama at the next table. A social event is not the place to display dysfunction. As for the problems within my own family, they do exist, but they do not exist for the entertainment of others. It's called decorum and it's sadly lacking in this society we live in.

stepwitch's picture

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

h7's picture

I came from a very dysfunctional background & everyone I grew up around displayed our dysfunctions on our sleeves. Then I moved to Houston & it was the extreme opposite. I think neither extreme was healthy at all, because on one hand the whole world doesn't need the drama, but on the other hand when you need a friend you can't find one simply because 'no one likes to talk about those kinds of things.'

Hipi

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

stepwitch's picture

this site is so important to me. Hey, I could use a little hipi advise on my new post. PLEASE

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

Conflicted's picture

Before we go out (and this sounds really bad), but I tell the kids to get their potty talk out and everyone act normal!! It sends off this slew of verbage such as "butt" "fart" "poop" "dummy" "crap", everyone gets it out of their system and then can act 'normal'.

Its really kind of a joke, but we're super laid back in my family and "butt" "fart" "stupid" stuff like that aren't taboo. BUT, I do have neices that are young and other kids in general that don't need to hear that stuff.

We call it "barn talk" and theres a time and a place, out in public is not the time nor the place.

Conflicted's picture

Before we go out (and this sounds really bad), but I tell the kids to get their potty talk out and everyone act normal!! It sends off this slew of verbage such as "butt" "fart" "poop" "dummy" "crap", everyone gets it out of their system and then can act 'normal'.

Its really kind of a joke, but we're super laid back in my family and "butt" "fart" "stupid" stuff like that aren't taboo. BUT, I do have neices that are young and other kids in general that don't need to hear that stuff.

We call it "barn talk" and theres a time and a place, out in public is not the time nor the place.

StressedinCanada's picture

My family puts the FUN in disFUNctional and there's not a dam thing I can do about it. It's a gong show.