hi all i am new to this so please be patient(haha) right where to begin at the start i suppose so here goes i have been with my husband for 11 years and he has a 12 year old son who comes to us every weekend, we were refuses visiting rights untill the day my daughter was born. we pay money monthly to his ex and always have and also pay for things outwith eg trips treats haircuts etc. anyway my SS likes his own way and if he doesnt get it he strops n shouts etc, he says he doesnt like coming up as i have bedtime rules and make them clean up after them. i have 2 daughters 8 and 4 years which i have the same rules for and he fights constantly with them, he is quite a hard boy to like and i feel terrible sayin that but honestly its true he ruined xmas by sayin santa doesnt exsit etc to my girls telling them its mom and dad he tells them constantly that there dad is gonna go to the shops for milk and never come back (apparently his mother told him that was why my hubby left her). he tells me repetedly he doesnt like coming up and if he doesnt get his own way he wont be back. his mom doesnt work and has other kids who are small. he lives very close to his granmom and stays there all the time saying he gets his own way there so he likes it. my mother in law says my husband should do more thing with his son just the 2 of them but he works quite far away and only comes home at the weekends so he says he likes to spend time with all the family, which i agree with we havent seen him all week either but the in laws say he should be having time with the SS as its unfair my kids spend time with me and that should be enough for the girls. she takes him on every vacation with her and my father in law and tells my kids that theres not getting on vacation with them as there mom and dad work and my SS mom doesnt, we also take him on vacation and lots of trips days out we do. when we got married my mom and dad paid for a honeymoon for us and no joke my mother in law father in law and stepson came along as a surprise. i would love for 1 weekend just me my hubby and my girls and would also love a vacation without having him there ruining it, it would certainly save me some cash. i have strong resentment towards both my husband who i dont feel talks up enough and my SS who i feel is trying to cause trouble he says i am a horrible person and a horrible mom i am really upset about this do you think im being unfair am i horrible??