Well, there goes my idea for Valentines....BM related of course
Ok, so we have this coming wknd together, my ex is actually taking the kids FRI-SUN, instead of Sat afternoon/SUN 
We're excited. Valentines is Tue, so not much we would like to do then.
I talked to bf yesterday and said, what if we just get out of town this wknd, even just Sat/Sun to clear our heads, do something fun-we can celebrate Valentines that way instead of our usual do nothing special around town. He was all for it, so we started throwing ideas around that are within 2hrs drive.
I suggested a couple of places-one of them I would really like to go w/him to because we haven't gone there together-AND then the bomb, he tried to stop himself but seemed hesitant about that destination. He said well last time I went there was with BM-and I don't have good memories exactly related to it.
I said well you said that about 'beach vacation place' we went to a couple years ago-we made it our own and you till this day say it's the best trip and the most beautiful thing anyone ever did for you. It was glorious-so we can turn around that destination and make it ours also right
WEll, he still hesitated, I said what, why? He says because it was Valentines wknd-and with BM at THAT destination that 'supposedly' SD was conceived. The reality was he thought she had started her monthly-it was spotting...implantation most likely-and NOT from him he later finds out. SOOOOOOO...yeah, that ruined it for me. I said yeah well maybe I can stomach going there any time of the year, btu going at the same time Valentines-where you became the victim of paternity fraud, ruined your life-STILL pay the price...might be a little much for ME to stomach. Let's pick somewhere else-and maybe we can all go there w/the kids some other time. They would probably enjoy it a lot also.
SO now to looking for other ideas. UGHHHHH
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Yeah, well normally I
Yeah, well normally I wouldn't care. I took him to a beach vacation spot for his 30th bday-a surprise trip really. The last time he went there was with bm and he loved the city but hated the entire trip. So we were both nervous.
Ended up being the best trip either of us took, we look back at that trip as a monumental moment in our relationship.
BUT to stomach going on Valentines when supposedly SD was conceived to the same area /same date? I don't care that it's 10 years later! UGHHHH
I've had these moments too
I've had these moments too with my dh and I HATE it! But we've also been places I went with my ex so he's maybe felt some of the same insecurities I have. What we like to do is go places neither of us has ever been before and made them "ours" with our own special memories, and we've seen and done some wonderful things these last few years. There are places we've been together where we've both been in the past with our respective exes, and have both agreed we've had a much better time with each other. That said, there are limits and dh knows there is a certain hotel in a certain town that I will NEVER stay in despite the fact he has family in the area. I would also have to draw a line at going to the same place at the same time of year one of skids was conceived, and I agree that if it's somewhere you really fancy going, you save it for a different time of year and take the kids for a family trip instead.
DH and I both only went on
DH and I both only went on one "vacation" with our ex gf/bf and it happened to be the same location. For both of us the weekend away had been meant to try to save the dying relationship, and for both of us it ended up making us realise that we just didn't want to be with them anymore. When we decided to elope we chose to go there (short drive, budget friendly, romantic and lots of fun stuff to do) and we had the most amazing time getting married and enjoying our honeymoon.