How much above child support should Father give Ex/ kids?
Biomom let DH know their son was excepted to a special summer program, which is awsome but then she asked him to give her part of his tax refund so ss can go. I have mixed feelings about this, I know she has more income than us and will be getting a bigger refund. Her kids have iphones and their own flat screen TVs . We on the other hand have a landline with only local calling, live very basicly and have two kids who live with us. We also have no savings, emergency fund, and my husbands truck has been broken and off the road for 9 months. I want SS to have great oppourtunitys but I want to be fair to my family too. Does anyone understand ? What should we do, all together their are 4 kids I want every one to be some what equal but then I think she gets money for them and she should manage it better. I just need some perspective i guess. thanks
How much does he give BM in
How much does he give BM in CS? A lot of DHs here pay thousands in CS. If he is paying her hundreds or thousands in CS, he needs to tell her to use the CS on this.
He is paying hundreds a
He is paying hundreds a month, plus he has been paying off their joint debt for several years and has several more until it's paid off.
Then he needs to tell BM to
Then he needs to tell BM to use the CS on this. This is exactly what CS is for.
If BM is always requesting
If BM is always requesting money for extras, then I'd be quick to say no. If these request are seldom made, then, I think helping out is fine.
Yes, that is what CS is for.
Yes, that is what CS is for. Also he could mention that he is still paying their joint debt and has no extra $$.
What do you think about
What do you think about putting a number (that she will not know) on extras and once its gone it's gone ?
that's what cs is for! if dh
that's what cs is for! if dh wants to help and can that's one thing, but you guys shouldn't feel obligated
I say she's on her own. She
I say she's on her own. She knew the cost when she applied to this program..... If she expected him to pay half then she should have asked him before she applied. That's common curtisy....
He pays child support. If BM
He pays child support. If BM encouraged him to apply for this program then she knew full well that she would have to foot the bill. She basically set your DH up. I say let her swing in the wind and come up with it herself. We have a BM that does the same thing and my FH comes through w/ the $ each time. So she keeps it up and it gets more and more expensive!
Girl - nip this in the bud!
He pays child support. If BM
He pays child support. If BM encouraged him to apply for this program then she knew full well that she would have to foot the bill. She basically set your DH up. I say let her swing in the wind and come up with it herself. We have a BM that does the same thing and my FH comes through w/ the $ each time. So she keeps it up and it gets more and more expensive!
Girl - nip this in the bud!
Non divorced parents suffer
Non divorced parents suffer from this as well. Good idea. Set a budget and stick to it. Good luck!
NONE - that is what CS is
NONE - that is what CS is for!!!!
None, she gets her child
None, she gets her child support, she knows how much that is, she should have known how much the program cost and she should have worked out if she could afford it or not. However, perhaps he could offer half the cost of the program as long as she gives him half of the debt he is paying off. What a cheek.
None, she gets her child
None, she gets her child support, she knows how much that is, she should have known how much the program cost and she should have worked out if she could afford it or not. However, perhaps he could offer half the cost of the program as long as she gives him half of the debt he is paying off. What a cheek.
None, she gets her child
None, she gets her child support, she knows how much that is, she should have known how much the program cost and she should have worked out if she could afford it or not. However, perhaps he could offer half the cost of the program as long as she gives him half of the debt he is paying off. What a cheek.
LOOK....Its such a wonderful
LOOK....Its such a wonderful thing to be 'accepted' for these little honours....but if you cant afford to send the child that lives with you...then he doesnt go.....Dont go asking dad who already pays a significant amount in Child Support.....(incidently he is already paying to support his child grow up....BM...you need to put in too)
Should there be a program that your child who lives with you wants to participate, and it is clearly something you cannot afford, then you as the custodian parent need to bring them back to ground saying - 'im sorry I cant afford that' or, 'let me ask your father, before you apply, if he has any spare money to provide' Bearing in mind....if you ask the father who is noncustodian, and who has a new wife and family who he is supporting already.....PLEASE DONT EXPECT HIM TO BE TOO HAPPY NOR EXPECT HIM TO AGREE....
The decision to support an ex wifes decision to send your son on things that she cant afford by herself is no right. The decision to support needs to be assessed with what else you have coming up over the next 12 mths....I say you are stretched enough....DONT DO IT....
Tell the bitch NO...not at the moment.... And then say....Cant your parents help you out.....? At the end of the day, if your short of money, dont go asking your ex....try your parents....they should be closer and be more caring than an ex...
We have this problem too. BM
We have this problem too. BM uses the CS to support herself as well so there is never any money to buy the skids ANYTHING extra. Whenever there are repairs to SD17's car or other extras, she comes to us. DH is struggling a bit right now because of some medical issues so I am picking up the huge majority of our household expenses. I keep telling DH that if he can't afford it, thats just the way it is. My extra money does not belong to the skids (although I do alot of nice things for them) so just because DH lives in a nice house with me and we have some nice things, does not mean HE has extra money.
Tell her to ask her boss for
Tell her to ask her boss for more money... lol Why is it that when married these decisions are made together but once divorced one person can say yes and the other is expected to pay? Crazy CPs...NO, the answer is NO.
CS does not pay camps in my
CS does not pay camps in my husbands divorce degree!!
That is extra..
BM gets Alimony (I know how that feels, we paid 3 years to a woman who did not need it)
and she gets CS...
What is written in their divorce agreement as to extra activites / summer programs??
If nothing and it CS does not cover summer programs in your agreement...I would have to say..
I am sorry....no can do...
GL
If he pays Child support then
If he pays Child support then that's what should be used.....we never payed through courts....In the long run; it bit us in the A**.......everytime we turned around we handed ehr $$ and had SD 50% of the time. Now we have SD FT and get NOTHING!! Sometimes the way people abuse childsupport pisses me off!!
If "extras" are not covered
If "extras" are not covered in the divorce decree, I would say no! We have similar issues with my skids BM. The noncustodial BM of my 2 SS always tried to pull this crap during each summer when the skids went to visit and then would badmouth my DH to the skids. SS17 who still lives at home told me she fed him Spam and Vienna sausages one entire summer and then told the skids she had no money for food because DH made Mommy pay CS (LOL. At the time, she was over $9K in arrears). Never mind, that she wouldn't get off her fat @ss and get a job so she could feed her kids for the summer. Gosh, that would require some effort.