I'm keeping SD9 for a week after all :(
So SD9 spent 3 & 1/2 days straight with her BM to spend her birthday weekend at Disney. SD9 even missed a day of school for this which got me a lil upset but whatever. Anyway, she came back yesterday evening and man did DF and I want to BEAT her! She came back with such a freaking attitude! DF was trying to be nice by asking her how was her trip and what did she do. But she kept being all snappy and giving him smart ass, rude remarks. He then proceeded to ask her if she a least did her homework while she was away and she said no because “she didn’t have a pencil” I was like WTF seriously! BM couldn’t stop by a gas station to buy her kid a damn pencil or ask a hotel clerk while they stayed at a hotel?? F**king ridicules! She snapped at him again, He said “he didn’t want to hear it start your homework, NOW” and left her be. I just sat and watched. I didn’t want to be involved.
Well DF decided to sit outside in our patio to relax while SD9 is doing her homework. I decided to join him so we can talk privately. He looks at me and says “You see? This is why I want you to keep her the week I’m out of town for business”…” Every time she stays with her BM too long she comes back a little shit and I just don’t want to deal with it just like I know you don’t want to deal with it”…”Its ridicules how we have her behaving, well mannered and doing her homework here and once she goes to her BM’s she comes back a different kid. It’s F**king annoying!! And just plain exhausting! “So I ask you again, Can you please keep SD9?”...You are great with her and she’s better off with you regardless if you are not her BM. You’re better then a BM your Mrs. Foxymama SD9 step mom”
He had a point about not wanting to deal with SD9’s bad attitude and bad behavior after being at her BM’s and if she was a little shit just staying with BM for 3 days image a whole freaking week!! I will beat the little shit!! I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with her and snap her back to her good behaving nice little girl she is when she is just with us. I just don’t get it!! I don’t understand how a kid can forget how to act!!!
Anyhow, If you thought I gave in then you are right. I decided to keep her for the damn week after he had said his reasons. I told him don’t get use to it and he said “he won’t” (yeah right) and that he is very thankful, I’m the best”...Blah..Blah. She IS well behaved when its Just me and her. I make her mind and she knows I don’t put up with her shit so it will be fine. I just honestly would have preferred to go out with some friends or take a nice, hot, quite, bubble bath. I guess I will just have to wait until the next opportunity comes along. …long sigh… 
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Comments
Oh Man. I have to tell
Oh Man. I have to tell you...your husband is a master manipulator. Sorry!
He's playing you like a
He's playing you like a fiddle. In the future no matter what you say no to, he will know you won't stick to it.
Yep, I agree with the other
Yep, I agree with the other ladies. Also, I'm not sure I understand but are you saying she went to Disney for a 3 day weekend? Then I imagine she's not going to do her homework-it seems a bit unrealistic to expect her to do her homework while on vacation. Also, her grouchiness when she gets home is pretty common. Changing households and such is hard for kids-I dont mean to be all sympathetic to COD but I do think there are alot of emotions involved switching back and forth between households and a transition time is good-in which she is able to go back to her room, get used to being at your home again-before answering questions about her visit and starting on her homework.
IT wasn't a three day
IT wasn't a three day weekend.BM made it that way. SD9 was supposed have gone to school on Friday but they decided not to take her. And they spent a lot of their time inside their car to get there. (its a 5 hour drive, enough time to do homework.)They also spent enough time in the hotel because of the weather. Doing her homework while being away for a few days doesn't seem unrealistic to me. SD9 also stays with DF and I 90% of the time. We have full Custody of her. She rarely goes to her BM's so I don't find it as a good excuse for her to act a fool after staying with her BM for 3 days, she should know to leave it at the door when walking into our home.
I'm with the others. You were
I'm with the others. You were manipulated. You will be the one left to care for SD whenever he's away from home. He should (and may even be required by the court) give the BM first right of refusal, but he isn't going to do that because he perceives it as causing to much work for him.
The homework is a non-issue. You said the child rarely spends time with BM, so why the hell would she being doing homework on one of their few visits? And on her Birthday trip to Disneyland?? Your SO getting all pissy with her for not doing it is ridiculous. And no wonder she's in a bad mood when she comes home. It almost sounds like he was giving her the third degree about her time with her mother. The kid should be allowed to enjoy her limited time with her mother without being hounded about it when she returns home.
Yep, I agree. If she only
Yep, I agree. If she only spends 10% of her time with her bm she was probably quite sad about returning home. Not that she doesnt love you guys and being home, but still I imagine it is hard to have so little time with your bm. I think it would be very beneficial to give her some time to go back to her room and relax a bit before getting back into the routine of your household. I think it would make it easier for everyone.
I don't think she was hounded
I don't think she was hounded by anyone. DF was trying to make conversation asking her if she had fun with her mom etc... He wasn't giving her the third degree. We were not angry about the homework just upset that she didn't do it on Thursday before she left to Disney. (she had to study for a spelling test to, She will fail thanks to BM.) This trip wasn't all for SD9 unfortunately. Even if it WAS "for her birthday". BM took her one year old daughter from her now marriage as well. First time they take HER to Disney so who do you think got all the attention? Certainly not SD9 and if SD9 only sees BM 10% of the time that's because BM likes it that way end of discussion.
Disney or not SD9 always comes back a little shit from her mother's house. I know for a fact she wouldn't snap or act rude towards her mother so she has NO damn right to do it to us when she comes back.