Hi everyone, I have been a member for a while but have really only read others posts and haven't posted anything myself. Reading the posts on this site has helped me on so many days to feel like I'm not alone.

Anyway, here is my story. I have a BS10, and am married to a guy with 3 girls, ages 9, 12 and 14. BS lives with us most of the time and visits his father every other weekend. The girls are with us half time: every Monday and Tuesday and every other Friday through Sunday. We have been together 7 years, since the kids were quite young. I love DH so much, but if I knew what I was getting into, I would have run away screaming!

BM is seriously the most immature, bitchy person I have ever met. She will never admit when she's wrong, in fact she has admitted to some mutual friends that when she realizes she is wrong, it pisses her off more and makes her fight even harder. Nice. Must explain why there is so much fighting! Well, that and there are just so many issues. Too many to explain in one post so I guess I will have to post about them as they come up. But I can skim over the main issues.

First, she hates that I am involved in her kids' lives. I don't do a lot of parenting with them, but I care about them and their lives so I do go to their functions, games, parent/teacher conferences, etc. I think for the most part she is ok with all that by now (although the look on her face when I came to the first parent/teacher conference was priceless). But when it comes to things like making decisions on what kind of extracurricular activities they do, I am supposed to stay out of it. She told DH "MY husband supports the decisions I make about MY children." To which DH replied "that may work for you, but in this family we discuss any major decisions." I love my DH, he always has my back. I'd gladly stay out of it, except I'm usually the one who pays for all that, figures out how to deal with their practice times, when I can fit in dinner, etc. In short, no one can make decisions that require my time and money without my input! The funny thing is, I am usually the one who is more likely to let them do things, their father says no a lot more than I do. Not sure why BM hasn't figured that out yet... DH thinks the reason she acts that way is because she is insecure. I guess...

Also a big issue is money... which I'm sure is for a lot of you too. DH has to pay child support, while we have the kids 50/50 and always split all their costs. It's ridiculous. She chooses to not work, and we have to pay her! If they actually needed the money, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But her husband makes 6 figures, they are always going to movies, vacations, cruises, out to eat, etc. While DH just recently had to get a second job just so we can get by! So frustrating. I never took support from my ex when we did 50/50 because I could support my own damn child! I didn't need his money, whether I was entitled to it or not. In my eyes that's like accepting welfare when you're perfectly capable of earning your own money. I do accept some support from him now, but only because BS is with me full time and I pay all his clothes, food, expenses, etc.

I just don't know why it has to be this hard. I love BS's SM and am grateful when she takes an active interest to be involved in his life. I figure the more people who love a child, the better!

I have other issues but this has turned into a book already! Thanks if you read this far. This is a great place to vent.