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Biomom, does not inform us of parent/teacher conference

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Fri, 02/23/2007 - 1:00pm

both parents have 50/50 custody, ss resides w/biomom 22 days a month. she has never informed/invited to ss parent/teacher conference at all or even tell us the result of it. she has never given us his school calendar/teacher name & so forth. why does she do this? & when i email her to ask her about how the conference went she does not respond.

Comments

Elle36's picture

Submitted by Elle36 on Fri, 02/23/2007 - 1:17pm

I teach school and I am also a step-parent. Why are you relying on Mom. Call school. It is the school's responsibilty to INFORM both parents. Both parents should be on file with addresses. BOTH parents hsould receive notes home AND THAT MEANS school will have to mail them is necessary. Make two different conference times. we do I'm not trying to sound mean but YOU BOTH go out of your way to let school know there is more than one parent. It is not Mom's job at all. Let that school know you two exist.

loonybonusmom's picture

Submitted by loonybonusmom (not verified) on Fri, 02/23/2007 - 1:17pm

maybe it is time that your husband requests this information. The school should be made aware there are two households who require the info. I know when we lived in the same town as my ss, the school teacher had no problem with sending home two copies of information with the child. And she did this on my request..the stepmom. The only problem is whether or not bm forwards your copy of the info with your ss, then you are again helpless unless your dh requests the information before he leaves the school. Our bm was at first not happy with our request, but on the other hand did not want to look like a crazy infront of the teacher.

Caitlin's picture

Submitted by Caitlin on Fri, 02/23/2007 - 1:32pm

My fiance split up with his ex when SD was in elementary school. BM was VERY involved with the school - she was an unofficial homeroom mother, she was there every day, she volunteered for everything, everybody knew her. My fiance gave the school his new address so that he could be involved and he was supposed to receive a weekly envelope in the mail with all the announcements and guess what? The office would mysteriously lose his address and phone number all the time. And I mean ALL THE TIME. My favorite was when they'd have his address from 2 years ago on file, even though that had disappeared at the time as well. This continued to happen in 2nd grade, in 3rd grade, in 4th grade and in 5th grade. The poor guy was calling them all the time to get back on the list and he'd get one weekly envelope and them poof! They'd stop coming again. We can only presume it was BM taking him off the list or changing it to an old address. It's deplorable.

That said, when SD started middle school this year, BM doesn't have the history and relationships with the personnel and my fiance finally gets all the info directly from the school. He got himself on the teachers' email lists, he gets all newsletters, report cards, p/t conference announcements, the whole nine yards. It is such a relief to finally not have to rely on an incommunicative BM for school info.

My advice is to leave BM out of it entirely and just get the information you need from the source. Even when there might be interference at the source, you just have to keep trying! This will save you a lot of frustration in the end.

Have a great day!