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..More sister-in-law issue.

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Wed, 06/07/2006 - 4:44pm

I just remember the time when I was first introduced to my inlaws, I looked at my sisterinlaw's face when my husband introduced me to his family. She had this look in her face of disgust about the whole thing. Now that I think about that, I realize that she does have a close relationship w/biomom and the whole idea of me in the picture is just depressing for her I guess. I can't understand why she should just have told me that she is friends w/biomom when I was telling her all my problems. Instead of hiding the friendship behind my back. How would you feel if you were in my situation? And if you were the sisterinlaw, would you keep a relationship w/biomom knowing about all this?

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Sweetie's picture

Submitted by Sweetie on Wed, 06/07/2006 - 7:58pm

Dear Happy Mom,
I am so sorry to have to tell you this.....but even though you expected a nice relationship with your sister in law, that's not what you got. Believe, they stand behind the scenes, waiting.....like vultures, ready to pounce for an attack! My wedding was an absolute nightmare!!!! My sister in law, my mother in law, and my husband's two nieces, totally ruined what should have been a great day for both of us. Instead, the memory was tragically tainted. Our wedding video--the audio on it--had to be erased--it was so nasty and derogatory. I can't explain to you why people are like that.....I can only say, I am sympathetic to your situation. Your sister in law is not going to make any changes in her relationship with biomom....don't expect she will. As I said, steer the conversation away from anything personal in the future.
Remember, we are all here to listen to each other....let me know how things are going.
Regards,
Sweetie

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Tue, 06/13/2006 - 4:58pm

I guess I can't expect anymore from my sister in law, I'm sad that this the way it is. I can't trust anyone from his side of the family. Sorry to hear about your wedding day, I can tell you are a pretty strong woman to have to deal w/his family that way. I would have left everything. Why would anyone hang out w/their sibling's exs? I just don't get that at all. In my family culture, we don't bring the ex's into family functions or anything like that. Thanks for listening, I don't have a friend here that is a stepmom who would understand my feelings.

Sweetie's picture

Submitted by Sweetie on Tue, 06/13/2006 - 7:18pm

Dear Happy Mom,
In the scheme of things, you have to consider the fact, that when you are looking at the source (your husband's side of family--no insult intended--it just happened that way) They seem to stick together. Believe me, I've seen it all. When I first met my prospective in-laws (sister, and mother) they really brow-beat about husband's ex (biomom). But after the wedding incident, they are all chummy with her, inviting her and her boyfriend to bring SK to stay overnight. I could gag. It goes on and on. So, you see you aren't the only one with problems. Mine never to go away. It's like one kick in the teeth after another. Like I said, some people are social twisted, or maybe they need to read some etiquette books. Or maybe, they're just beyond hope. Just remember we're here for each other.
Regards,
Sweetie

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Wed, 06/14/2006 - 3:33am

"Socially twisted" that is funny! I like the way you word stuffs, just makes me laugh. I guess I do see that socially twisted people sometimes and I just wonder? Do you think those people have low self-esteem or an introvert? The ones that I know who are socially twisted are either introverts or has low-self esteem. I could be wrong. Wow I can't believe your inlaws invited the ex & family over to their house to sleep over! Man they are twisted. I'll keep you updated as things progress.

mamaceta's picture

Submitted by mamaceta on Mon, 09/18/2006 - 10:32am

In laws are always a source of frustration for me. When my SIL first met me she very clearly didn't want to like me from the start. She isn't friends with his ex but she is very judgemental. Even though she didn't speak to my fiancee for about 3 years and didn't even send SD a birthday card during that whole time she still felt it was her right to tell my fiancee how to run his life after they started speaking again. I just choose not to have anything to do with her...her relationship is with fiancee not me. It is not my resposibility to keep in touch with her, it is his.

My MIL was very accepting of me at first. It wasn't until SD started getting close to my mom that all the problems started. (see my blog for more on this)

In laws!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!