So, this has been an ongoing battle for about 7 1/2 years now! My SS7's BM is probably one of the most incompetant parents I've ever heard of! She never has her son, he's always with her parents, and if her parents can't watch him, she'll make up some excuse to us so that we have him. Which is great, because we want him as much as possible, but she is CONSTANTLY using him as a pawn.

For example, we asked her a few weeks ago if we could have SS7 overnight because we overheard her dad saying that he was taking SS7 to baseball that night, not BM. She texted back saying, "no I want him, I'm only working until 7:30, then I'll be home to spend time with him." So FDH complied and dropped it. Well that night we wanted to go out for a drink. So we headed to the bar closest to our house which is also where SS7's BM works! So we head over there around 9:30 and what do ya know?!-her car was in the lot! So we go in and she's working! The minute she sees us she makes a beeline for the back and proceeds to hide for about 15 minutes. She knows we're not going anywhere so she's forced to come out and continue working. We left at 11:45...she was still there. Hmmmm.... is that good parenting? To keep your child from his father just in spite? I think not .. we do NOTHING wrong to her, she just can't get over the fact that my FDH doesn't want her anymore! They have been over since she was pregnant with SS7 and she STILL can't seem to get over it.

Therefore (among MANY MANY OTHER THINGS) we want full custody of SS7 .. believe me, if she didn't use him as a pawn there would be no reason for her to keep him. She loves the child support and the fact of having an adorable son who's great at sports .. it makes HER look good. Plus she gets to play the pity party of being a poor single mom. It's truly pathetic and we're sick of it. SS7 suffers from seperation anxiety when he's not with us .. he'll try and call us constantly when he's with his BM but she will tell him no. He has to give us 5 or 6 kisses and hugs each before he leaves us each time, but will never even say "I love you" to his mother. We are a very loving couple, therefore very loving parents, yet she is not. He's a VERY nervous child also when she is around. He's afraid to give me a hug or kiss or even look at me if she's paying attention. She fills his head with mean things about both FDH & I and it's SO sad! Neither FDH or I have EVER said a bad thing about her in front of SS7. No child should have to go through that.

I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has tried to get custody of a step child before. In ND it seems like if you're a woman, you automatically get custody. The courts want to see the child in the mother's care and because of alot of deadbeat fathers in the world, there's that stereotype. I'll admit before I got involved with my FDH, I listened to that sterotype. Then, getting involved, I realized that there are a lot more deadbeat moms out there that no one ever knows about. Probably because us women are better at lying and covering things up HA! So if anyone has ANY advice on how to go about this, or what steps to take, it'd be GREATLY appreciated!