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I can't stand my 3yr old step son any advice?

palmtreebeauty's picture

Submitted by palmtreebeauty on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 2:49pm

Hi, this is my first blog. When i found this website i felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and i could finally talk to people who understand what im going through...

I absolutly can not stand my boyfriends 3yr old son. When he was younger we got along fine but the older he gets the more i just want him to go away!!! He doesnt listen to a word i say and has the WORST attitude ever. He thinks me and him are on the same level because im not his mom.. his mom-mom spoils the crap out of him and lets him have whatever and talk however he wants... and his father my boyfriend doesnt see anything wrong with how his kid is acting. he says and does whatever he wants and when he wants something he wont even use his sentences. Hell just yell at you pancakes! Drink! or Say Go get me whatever it is he wants. My boyfriend and i are about to have a baby and he gets soo jealous when the attention isnt on him by his mom-mom or when his dad is paying attention to another child.. The mother babies him all the time and lets him do whatever so its just getting worse. whenever hes around i just want to be as far away from him as i can i make up excuses to leave the house just so i dont have to see or hear him. Some days i wish we didnt have split custody so i didnt have to worry about the little brat anymore. i feel horrible saying this stuff but at the same time the kid is ridiculous. I ABSOLUTLY HATE HIM!!!!

Comments

palmtreebeauty's picture

Submitted by palmtreebeauty on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 3:13pm

I've thought about leaving plenty of times because of his kid but now that were expecting our own child it makes things so much harder. He doesnt parent and expects me to, but i dont wanna be around the kid hes not my responsibility.. i wouldnt mind as much if the kid actually listened to me, acted right, and didnt cause fights between me and my BF 90% of the things we fight about are his BM and their relationship and his kid and were fighitng more and more about it.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 4:39pm

I agree with Unlucky. You and BF need to be on the same page regarding rules, consequences and who enforces them. If you two can't do this now, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself if you do want to stay in this situation. I know that it's not an ideal option as you are having a baby together, but I can guarantee you that if BF doesn't step up his parenting act now, you will only come to hate SS more. And that negativity won't be healthy for you or your child.

I have to say, I feel for SS. He's 3. They really don't know right from wrong at that age. By not parenting him, his dad is unintentionally setting him up for failure in this situation and in real life. His not parenting SS certainly isn't helping you to establish a workable relationship with him (SS). If anything, it's only going to make you resent SS more (and BF too).

The person who needs to make the drastic changes here is BF. SS' behavior won't change at all until BF makes it clear that he has to obey age-appropriate rules at your house (check out some parenting websites for age-appropriate rules, consequences and chores for 3-year-olds). BF also has to follow through on the consequences.

palmtreebeauty's picture

Submitted by palmtreebeauty on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 5:12pm

Sorry i should have been more clear on what i ment by him not parenting.. He doesnt wake up with him the 3out of the 4 mornings hes here, he doesnt do his laundry or get his dinner ready or get him showered, dressed, and teeth brushed, he thinks thats my job besides the job I have. When my BF tells my SS what to do he does he listens perfectly unless his mom-mom is around and then he just runs to her because she babies him like BM does. Yes he is 3 but he is a smart 3 yr old he knows right from wrong he just choses to be a little brat to me. With everyone else besides his mom-mom he has manners and is polite but when it comes to me because im not his mom or family he thinks were equals, and his mom-mom because she spoils and babies him. She also doesnt think theres anything wrong with his behavior. I really hope we can get on the same page with the parenting thing. I dont want my SS bad behavior toward me rubbing off on my child.