You are not alone. I live full time with SD15 and SS13. They have not seen their BM in 4 years. Reason being, BM refuses to follow the court order for supervised visits and she also skipped town 3 years ago.

Skids BM also applied for public assistance claiming she had custody of skids. FH received paperwork from the public assistance office wanting to know how much money he was to be giving BM. FH immediately got on the phone and faxed over the court order that shows that BM only has supervised visits and that she has to pay CS.

BM also contacted an attorney lying to the attorney claiming her parental rights had been taken away and she was not allowed to see skids. BM didn't bother in telling this attorney that she was court ordered supervised visits at a designated center and she was also court ordered to pay child support. The reason we know that BM "hired" an attorney is because she was using my FH company phone that their oldest son had since he was working for FH at the time. BM was using that phone as her own. FH had asked of his oldest son to drop off the phone in the office and pick it up every morning. I'm not sure if BM was aware of this since she was still receiving calls. She did not have access to the voicemail password. So when the phone would get dropped off and there was a voicemail message WE would listen to them. FH at first contacted the BMs "attorney" and let her know that his company number was not a number that BM could be using or be contacted at. I guess the "attorney" didn't catch on until FH had HIS attorney contact BMs "attorney" and tell her the truth. That ended those calls.

At times I get angry at the POS BM that my skids have. But then I have to stop and remember that I have a nice life with my FH and skids. Both skids tell me they love me and they respect me.

So you are not alone!

Truebloodfreak your NOT alone. my DH has 100% custody of his girld, age 6 and 10 BM has not seen/talked to/ contacted the kids in 7, almost 8 months. There are days when I wish she would make an attempt, but then I stop and remember that the kids are living better with DH and I, at least here WE pay attention to them instead of out running around all the time and having them stuck with a sitter ALL the time, or letting them go do whatever and not keeping tabs on them.

Hey truebloodfreak, I just joined this group today, your words kind of inspired me to join and let you know, you are not alone!

I married my husband 1 year ago, and he has full custody of his sons ages 15 and 7, I've known them and been living with them since they were 12 and 3. I don't have any bio kids yet but I am hoping to have 1 or 2 kids of my own once I am finished with school. My SK's Bio Mom has absolutely nothing to do with them anymore, drugs were more important to her then being a mom to her 3 beautiful kids. She F***ed them up good first before she left. Now we have full custody. I have a good relationship with the littlest one, who I have helped raise since he was 3. And my husbands oldest child (daughter) doesn't live with us anymore, but my relationship with her is okay/good. The MIDDLE child though, the teen boy...he and I don't talk AT ALL. If I ever do try to talk to him be barely says anything to me. Which is improvement, he used to ignore me (still does somedays). He has anger issues (they all do), he used to slam cabinet doors and stuff, trying to intimidate me. The worst year was when he was 13/14. I like him okay when he is in a good mood, but some days I feel like I hate him. He's rude, selfish, disrespectful, lazy, sloppy, messy, mean, blah blah blah. He's also funny, kind sometimes, nice sometimes...it just doesn't really make up for most of the time him being so disrespectful.

So I can tell you more later, point is- I live with my step kids 24/7 so I know what you feel.

I live with my sks full time. I have four ss's. Its a lot of work and I went into thinking I could handle being maybe a fun aunt someone who loves them and could help out. I turned into their mother. The mother they had I guess started out ok. Then she got overwhelmed after the first two who now are 9 and 7. Her relationship with my SO was not ok so I understand she was overwhelmed but her and my SO continued having children. The third child came and she completely broke down. Started doing drugs and completely neglected ss4. He is now my hardest child and I think that is why. The last child was taken from her. They were separated but my SO said he tried to make it work for the kids. By the way I hate that excuse its just retarded. Anyway so he sleeps with her a couple times and bam she is pregnant again and they fight and they are over again. He stays away from her and when the baby is born he is addicted to meth. F***** go figure right. My youngest ss2 has never slept in the same bed as his mom, been breast fed, spent the night with her, been held longer then a couple of min. She was ordered to stay away until she completed some classes and even then she had supervised visits. She would show up late, with friends (who does that), and she would leave early. After about a year of raising them the kids finally let it slip that they have another mom and she became furious. Now she wants joint custody. The courts gave her eow 9-2. I deal with her shit, my SO's shit, and not to mention kid shit all the time and this website has helped. You may get a lot of backlash but coming here as really helped me remember what my wants and needs are. Its very easy to get lost in the maze of skids, custody battles, and downright dumb ass people. Welcome!

For all of you who do not have to deal with the bio-parent, be thankful. I have had the distinct displeasure of dealing with 2 different bio-dads for going on 15 years. They are just enough involved with their kids to cause trouble, but not nearly involved enough to do any real parenting. I would **much** prefer to have the bio-dads out of the picture - it would make life much easier.

I'm not FT, but it feels like it sometimes. I have become very good friends with the BM, so I still see the skids on the weeks that they are at her place (we have weekon/week off). We are in constant contact, so it really does feel like I'm FT some days. Otherdays, I'm SO happy when Sunday rolls around. Be sure you get some couple time (like dates and such). It helps to not feel so trapped. In any case, I wish you hope and many days of peace.