How to handle a bitter BM
i am about to marry a man with 2 kids, his ex the BM is a nightmare, and borderline crazy!! Him and her do not communicate well AT ALL and she is continuously putting the kids in the middle. I reached out to her with a phone call months back and it went rocky at first and ended pretty well wth the solution at hand solved!
Another situation arose where they couldn't communicate so I texted her, and because she feels i should have no say in anything she texted back never contact me again.
I accidentally texted her last night, trying to text a friend and she replied do not ever contact me again or i will press charges for harassment. I saw the accidental text but was infuriated with her threat. I texted back go right ahead...a couple texts with the same matter continued, angry on both ends. My final comment to her was I thought it would be helpful for us to get along and to call me when she is ready.
SHE FILED A HARRASMENT COMPLAINT AGAINST ME!!!!!
What do I do...she wrote my fiance an email saying I am to never contact her again, reguarding the kids or any other matter! What do I DO???
I completely agree, this
I completely agree, this woman is out for blood. I feel like I am trying to form a good relationship with these kids and when they're (mostly the SD13) put in the middle of their parents bickering she looks to me ..like..please help. I see most of these situations as being easily solved and I want to show the kids I'm here for them, which makes this so hard! I don't want a dsconnected relationship with these kids and I know eventually...due to teenage"ism" they will begin to hate me, I guess I want to make sure that doesn't happen?? IDK?
WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
You told her to "go ahead",
You told her to "go ahead", so she did. Now you know to believe her when she tells you she will do something.
Having dealt with less than
Having dealt with less than pleasant women as BM's in two different relationships, I have to say, I am much happier in the relationship where there is no expectation on me to have anything to do with BM.
Life is grand. He married her, he can deal with her. I think it is funny that when people divorce and have kids, they think they don't have to work on communication because they are divorced, but they still do. FDH has learned that recently, and is much better about communicating with BM, which in turn, makes her behave better. You and BM don't have a relationship. You don't need one, and it sounds like she's one of the crabby ones, so you don't really want one. She isn't going to want to be buddy-buddy with someone that she probably sees as a threat to her territory (her kids). While the whole territorial thing is a PITA, I can understand it, so I try to respect BM's needs in that regard. This is not to say that I don't have my boundaries. I do, but I also try not to poke the bear, and FSS is happier when BM is happier. FSS is what matters. FDH is what matters. So, I try to respect her position.