Just wanted to see if other folks are going through this. Here's the situation:

A few years ago, when DW and I had to move out of town for my job, we agreed to modify the visitation schedule for SD17's perfect bio-daddy. We were in a hurry to leave (only a couple of months notice from work), and we really didn't want to litigate changes to the visitation. Bio-daddy - we'll call him "Bob" -- knew this, and leveraged it severely during the negotiations over visitation. We ended up agreeing to let him have SD for 7 out of the 10 weeks of summer visitation, during which time he would receive an abatement and pay no child support. DW would get the other 3 weeks of visitation (3 separate one-week periods), but would not receive child support during this period. CS would start back when school began.

After a couple of years away, we moved home. However, "Bob" did not want to go back to his old visitation schedule, since he was required to pay CS the whole year under that plan. He also started "dumping" SD17 off during times that he was supposed to have her in the summer. For instance, if he was supposed to get SD on a Friday, he'd find a reason to put off getting her until Sunday night. During the 3 one-week periods that DW was supposed to get SD, "Bob" would dump her off on a Friday, and not get her back until Sunday or the next Monday. Also, "Bob" would always try to send SD home a week early. When you add all these days up, he was forgoing at least 2 weeks of his scheduled time.

The reason for this "dumping," of course, is that "Bob" did not have to pay child support during this period. It was a double-whammy for us - DW had to pay for 2 weeks of SD17's expenses, while "Bob" got out of paying for expenses he should have incurred, AND "Bob" was not paying child support! (Really, it was a "triple-whammy," since we also had to deal with taking care of SD17, who is a royal pain in the ass). I'm sure that you all know how much it costs to feed and entertain children during the summer, so this is a not-inconsiderable expense.

Of course, DW doesn't want to force "Bob" to get SD17 during his time, because it would look like she "didn't want to see her daughter." "Bob" would certainly use this as a guilt-trip against DW. However, when "Bob" dumps SD17, that is different, because he is "magnanimously" giving up some of his time so that DW gets to see SD more. SD is oblivious to the child-support issues.

The dumping has become so common now that we have a special name for it - "Bob-dumping." It really pisses me off, because he hardly has to take care of SD17 during the school year (he gets her 2 days a month), and he "dumps" her a good portion of the time that he is supposed to have her in the summer. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we can minimize "Bob-dumping" without giving him ammo to use against us?