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F'ing Little Brat

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 1:14pm

So anybody who has read my previuos blog about CPS will be familiar as to what has been happening recently.

Recap:

FSD(6) tells her mother that SO pushed her head into the bathtub wall. BM calls CPS. BM knows SO is not capable of doing anything like that, but has blammed her mistrust in SO on other influences in his life meaning me. CPS shows up and talks with SO. We get FSD back and explain to her that telling lies is bad.

Last night SO is playing with FSS(4) and FSD(6). He puts FSD on the leather foot rest in the living room. FSD bumps her head on the padding on the top of the foot rest. She then sits up and looks SO in the face and tells him, "remember what the cop said."

WTF!!!! This little girl is seriously messed up. I don't think I can ever forgive her for all this. I know she's 6, but to sit there and look him in the face and say that. I could have slapped that little brat. She had SO in tears all night long.

What are we supposed to do about her? Any suggestions?

Comments

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 1:20pm

She needs a spanking. Someone needs to spank that brat and let her know that she (nor BM) cannot threaten you or your SO over every physical pain occurring while she is in your care. It isn't illegal. Spank her, and dare her to call the cops.

She's only 6. You must nip it now before she is old enough to start manipulating and lying and making up stories which could end up with CPS throwing the book at your SO.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 5:16pm

While I agree that kids need discipline and spanking... it IS a different world we live in now, than when we grew up. There is a real possibility that a child can get taken away for hitting them in the mouth.

I also think having an officer talk to her about false abuse allegations is a great idea... IF they think it was false. Not prosecuting does not mean they there was no cause. It means they didn't think they had enough, in these times. As far as I understand it.

I don't want Unhappy or her DH to lose their own child, let alone the steps. So while all of our anger is great to get out... I would caution Unhappy before they do anything that could be conceived as "threatening".

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 1:20pm

Hopefully she didn't SEE your SO in tears b/c that further adds to her POWER!!

The BM is messing her up by PASing her out and giving her "adult spousal status"

DH has to tell BM to cut out the shit or he'll slap a harrassment suit on her. Immediately correct SD and say that she lied and that the cop knows it. In fact the cop TOLD you that the cops know that both BM and SD LIED!

That ought to put a scare into the little brat!!

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 1:28pm

Yep! "You want something to call the cops about; well here it is and btw the cop told me he knows you and BM lied. . .honey bring me the paddle, please"

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 1:37pm

I'd honestly tell her this:

"Yes, I do remember what the cop said and if you want to go down that road, that is fine with me. If you want to be removed from the loving home that you are in and put into a foster home with kids you don't know, adults you don't know, put into a different school, and not be able to see us or your brother for a long period of time then have at it.. start packing now. Until then, I suggest that you shape up and remember that children do not make the rules in this house."

What a stinking brat!

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 2:45pm

Unhappy / Daizy - I agree in theory with what Daizy wrote, but I would temper it, so it does not become a "threat".

What I would do, is to get DH and SD and myself to sit down and not just talk about lying, or what she can and can't do any more. I would approach it something like this...

"SD... do you feel unsafe here? Do you honestly feel that your father would hurt you, or has hurt you on purpose? If you do, tell us, so that we can discuss the problem. If you feel safe here, and want to say that daddy hurts you, or I hurt you - just know that you have choices, and so do we. You don't have to come here anymore if you feel that unsafe, because we would never want you to be in a place that you feel unsafe in. Likewise, if your father and I feel that it might "hurt you" to be here, then maybe we should discuss not having you stay. We like to play, we like to etc etc, but don't want our playing to be mistaken for anger, or abuse. That's not fair to us either. So if you feel that you must lie about it, then daddy and I may need to take steps to protect ourselves as well."

Now Unhappy, I will say that I don't think your SD should be quoting "what the cop said" to your husband. BUT I will say, that when I first read your other post, I didn't think it appropriate that your husband hit SD in the mouth with enough force - even if it was mistaken force - to have her hit her head back against the wall. Did I read that incorrectly or remember it incorrectly? SD was mouthing off, and DH clipped her in the lip, I thought and it made her stumble back and hit her head. That's what I thought I read. IF THAT'S THE CASE, then your DH needs to learn from this incident as well. Spanking a child on the rear is one thing. Hitting them in the mouth is another - at least in my opinion. I don't think DH or I here would have reacted well to BM hitting SD in the mouth - for mouthing off - at 6.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 5:19pm

As I stated above... we don't know what CPS actually thinks. DH says "flicked" and SD jerked her head. Have none of you gotten angry and opened a door a little too hard... closed a door / slammed it... ??? I'm not saying he beat this kid. I"m just saying there is a real need here to proceed with caution. His "flick" could be her "hit" or "slap"Q

And I especially want to warn Unhappy about giving in to all of these negative feelings. We are completely egging her on to further hatred of her skid, as well as of the BM. That's not going to help her - in my own opinion.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 6:00pm

I would tell her that lying to cops, cps can cause a person to go to jail. That it is against the law to tell stories about abuse to authorities and that people (like her mommy) can go to jail for telling lies about it.

I understand you are angry with her-but she's only 6, she really doesnt think of all this in the same way that an adult might. I dont think she really grasps what could happen. I would tell her that if cps/cops think her daddy might have hurt her that she could go live with strangers and might not get to see the family again.

That you should NEVER say someone hurt you when they didnt and that if you ever hear her make up a story like that again you will have to send her to her room, ground her for a week, or whatnot.

dancermum's picture

Submitted by dancermum on Sun, 04/10/2011 - 11:32am

He just flicked her. SD then jerks her head. He did not hit her

He flicked her in the mouth and she rammed back and hit her head....and YOUR getting upset at HER?

Seriously? She didnt lie. As far as a 6 year old is concerned he did hit her in the face and her head did hit the wall behind her.

Why are you mad at her for reacting the way any 6 year old would to that incident?

Dont hate HER, you should be angry at your DH for creating a situation where you could lose your kids. If CPS took them, it wouldnt be the 6 year olds fault for telling someone she was clipped in the face. She WAS.

IT would be the adults fault for clipping her in the face.